A Little Monkey Business

Little Miss {seven months}

2012-02-12T17:49:00.000-08:00

My smiley little dolly... you are 7 months old. Time is just flying and I just want to slow it down! You bring so much joy into our house. We love you so much little girl!

You probably weigh around 18 pounds. You wear mostly 6-9 month and some 12 month clothes. You wear a size 3 diaper. You are just a little chunk and I love it! Everyone comments on your cheeks. They are soooo kissable!

(You have 3 Valentine outfits so I had to post two different ones today!)

You are sleeping wonderfully! You take your last bottle around 8:30 or 9 and you will still be awake most nights but we can now lay you down awake and you will fall asleep in your crib by yourself. We got your brother's favorite toy (the soother) and hung it in your crib and all I have to do is start that, put your paci in and rub your bunny blankie by your face. You are asleep before the songs are over. You usually sleep until about 6:00 in the morning, but once in a while you might wake up in the middle of the night, but you are easy to put back down. I don't even have to pick you up (although sometimes I just want to grab you and snuggle you in bed with me!) I just put your paci back in, roll you over onto your back and you go right back down.

You still take about 6oz every 3 hours and take one good 2 hour nap in the afternoon (about 1-3). Your other naps are shorter. I am thinking it is about time to get you to take more from your bottle and spread out your feedings a little bit. Sometimes you want more so we'll make a couple more ounces for you.

(Precious little cupcake tights!)

This month you have really started taking off on solids. You love your cereal around lunch time, and every night for dinner you down a container of veggies. I am going to start introducing you to fruits very soon. I wanted to hold off on those until we got through the veggies because if you are anything like the rest of us, you would rather have sweets than veggies! Ha! I am thinking you are going to love fruit.

You are definitely starting to show your spunky personality this month. You get mad when we take something away from you (mostly brother's toys) and other things you aren't supposed to get into. You can't quite crawl yet, but somehow you manage to still get ahold of what you want!

You get up on all fours and rock, and you can crawl backwards. You still haven't figured out how to go forwards! Ha! You are funny to watch. You can also go from laying down, to sitting up all by yourself. One day after I changed your diaper I went to throw it away and wash my hands and when I came back you were sitting up! I couldn't believe it! You also go from a sitting position to a crawling position.

You absolutely love looking in mirrors. You will sit here and occupy yourself for quite a while. You look at yourself and giggle. You will move your arms around and put your hands up by your face and watch intently.

I'm not sure if you've figured out it is you in there yet. But you sure do enjoy exploring! You love it when mommy gets beside you too!

Whenever I dress you up you are obsessed with playing with the frills. I love it! I am hoping for a girly girl, and I'm doing everything in my power to make it happen! Ha!

You still have two precious little teeth. I keep looking for more, but none yet. Your hands are in your mouth constantly, as well as everything else you can get your hands on. So I am thinking there are more coming in soon!

You love to play peek a boo. I can always get you to giggle whenever I play it with you (and it works great for photo shoots!) Ha!

You are very much a mama's girl. You can be perfectly content with daddy, on the floor or in your jumperoo, but the second you see me, you cry. It is so pathetic but super sweet too. The only way I get anything done at all is to strap you into the baby bjorn (which you are getting too big for, and you make my back hurt! Ha!) But you are super content as long as I am dragging you around the house with me.

You still haven't cried when I drop you off at day care, thank goodness. I am dreading that day. I told daddy that is when I'm going to have him start dropping you off! I am still so sad leaving you every day, baby girl. You are so precious and I just want to soak in every single minute with you. There is just never enough time. Those mornings we are so rushed to get out the door, you just go with the flow and smile at me. I love you so much. My heart just breaks leaving you.

You are a joy to everyone around you, Kerigan. You just brighten the day. I cannot even remember what life was like before you were here.

You could not be any sweeter, or cuter, or more bubbly and smiley. You have the best little personality. You just shine.

And you still have those big, beautiful blue eyes like your Grandpa Bill.

I could seriously just eat you up with a spoon. Those cheeks!

I thank God every day for bringing you into our lives. He picked you and Andrew out just for us. The most special kids anyone could ask for. I will never know how I got this blessed, but I will never take either of you for granted. Not for one single second. You and your brother are the best things in my life.

We love you to the moon and back, baby girl!

a comparison

2012-02-08T20:16:00.000-08:00

I normally don't plan on comparing my children too much... after all, Andrew is a boy, Kerigan is a girl. He's five, she's 7 months old (almost!) He is into your typical "boy" things like cars, trucks, dinosaurs and dirt. She loves her babies and puts everything in her mouth!

But when I was sitting down to think about what I wanted to post for CHD Awareness week... I couldn't help but compare this.

This is my son. He was 7 months old in this photo. This was his second open heart surgery. It was a 12 hour surgery that completely repaired his Tetralogy of Fallot. They call this his "full repair" surgery, but his little heart was far from repaired. At the time of this surgery, Andrew couldn't sit up. He was nowhere near crawling and barely holding his head up on his own. He was going to physical and occupational therapy once a week. I had to take a year off from work just to keep him out of day care because if he would have gotten sick, he could have died.

This is what congenital heart defect looks like. This is how we were introduced to parenthood. This was the only life we knew.

Until this:

This is our smiley, bubbly daughter today at 7 months old. I can't help but to compare. This is what healthy looks like. Bright eyed and happy. Giggles and smiles. Baby food, sitting up, learning to crawl.

It's quite an amazing difference, don'tcha think??

I stare at both of these pictures and it almost takes my breath away. It leaves me almost speechless. I was talking to another heart mom friend when I was pregnant with our daughter. I remember being scared that I didn't know if I could love another baby the way I loved Andrew. Especially with everything he had been through. He was such a special baby, and we had poured every ounce of our lives into caring for him. Keeping him alive. I remember my friend (who has one healthy child and one heart child) saying... of course you love them both... but the love is "different." She couldn't have been more right.

It is an odd feeling, parenting one perfectly healthy child, and one with a CHD. You do treat them somewhat differently, for example, when they are sick, you tend to worry about the heart child more. You "worry" more about the heart child in general. It is hard to look at them both and think of how their futures could be so different. Whether this is right or wrong, it's just the way it is. At the same time, it is an amazing experience to parent a healthy child. One who you got to wrap your arms around and cuddle the moment they were born. One who was born pink and chubby. Loves to eat and grows like a weed. One who is ahead of all her milestones.

I'm so blessed to have gotten to experience both kinds of love. I wouldn't trade either experience for anything.

Many of you have noticed and commented on Kerigan's heart shaped birthmark between her eyes. It was present from day one. And we noticed it right away.

And we don't think it is a coincidence.

Her birthmark means so much to me. It is such a symbol of our lives brought together by CHD. We are a CHD family, whether it is the life we would have chosen or not- that is the life God created for us and we wouldn't change a thing. Kerigan came into that life 7 months ago. She has a brother with a CHD. She will be forever embedded into this heart journey and she will eventually learn what it means to be part of something so special.

Kerigan forever wears a "heart" for her brother. And I just get goosebumps every time I see it. There almost aren't words to describe it. God is the only explanation I have. He created her with this perfect little heart shaped birthmark... and a perfect heart. It's like a trade off.

Thank you God.

One perfect heart...

One broken heart...

Two amazing miracles...

To my sweet boy:

Never be ashamed of the scars that life has left you with.

A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed,

you endured the pain and God has healed you.

*For CHD awareness week we are storming Pinterest with the faces of CHD! Andrew's story is pinned. Please visit this link and pin your CHD story or others stories to help spread awareness!

a birthday to remember

2012-02-05T10:01:00.000-08:00

Andrew's actual birthday was on a Monday this year, and I have to admit, I looked for ways to miss work that day because I really wanted to stay home and spend the day with him! But I figured it was time to let him be grown up and go to school like other kids do on their birthdays! It was the first time I had ever been away from him on his birthday (all his previous birthdays have fallen on weekends, or when I wasn't working). It felt so strange dropping him off with his birthday treats for both his day care and his preschool, kissing him goodbye and leaving! It wasn't easy. But I did it.

I took extra time that morning before we went to school and we all sat and ate breakfast together and sang "Happy Birthday." I put a candle in Andrew's favorite muffin and he loved that. Kerigan wore her cupcake outfit just for brother's big day! The night before I had decorated the house so when he woke up all his decorations would be up.

We had planned to celebrate that night at home. On my way home from work, this is what the temperature said...

It was 66 degrees! That is unheard of for January 30 in Iowa! The whole week was just gorgeous- sunny and mild. We decided to do something that we figured might not happen again for a long time on Andrew's birthday... GRILL OUT!!

Andrew really wanted to stay home rather than go out to eat. Usually after a day of school, he loves to just come home, play with his toys and hang out. He is such a homebody! If I turn the other direction when we leave his school he gets so mad at me because we aren't going home. I knew he'd love to just enjoy his birthday at home. So we did.

We couldn't believe we could actually sit on the deck outside with no coats on!! Andrew played on his swingset while Daddy and Papa grilled steaks. It was such a treat for all of us!

Modeling Papa's hat!

The only problem was, it got dark so early! When the weather is that nice, we are used to it staying light out longer! So when the sun went down we eventually had to put on our coat and hat! But it was still beautiful out.

Papa grilled Andrew a hot "dog"! Ha!

Ga Ga and Andrew looked at a book she had made about the story of his birth. He really enjoyed seeing the pictures of himself as a baby!

This picture cracks me up! I was so glad I was able to find him a Kung Fu Panda card! I bought it last summer when the movie was first out. They don't have much else Kung Fu Panda right now, so I had to get a lot of things online.

Then he opened presents from Ga Ga and Papa and mommy and daddy.

He had wanted this Kung Fu P thing... he even realized he didn't get it for Christmas and he thought Santa forgot! Ha! I had saved it for his birthday since it went with the theme! He was so thrilled.

This was probably what he wanted most... he had been begging for this movie. But again, I was saving it for his KFP birthday!

Ga Ga and Papa got him a Cars 2 geotrax set to connect with his others. He was so happy about that too. This is his other favorite movie!

After opening presents we had birthday cake!

This was my sad Panda cake I threw together last minute and attempted to decorate! Ha! I realized I had nothing for eyes, so I used oreos and a candy heart for his mouth. I used two cupcakes for his ears. It didn't really look like a panda, but it tasted delicious and Andrew loved it!

I'm always the one behind the camera but I wanted a picture of me with my boy on his 5th birthday!

Sweet siblings...

Ga Ga and Papa...

It was a perfect day. Andrew had a great time sharing his treats at school and being with his family in the evening. Our little miracle is now five years old. Oh how I wish I would have known five years ago that things would turn out this way. I would have been so happy and relieved to know he'd be blowing out five candles one day! I know we can't predict the future...but God knew all along.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

furious five

2012-02-02T20:16:00.000-08:00

I still can't believe my baby turned five years old this week. It just doesn't seem possible to me that five years have gone by. I can't even remember what life was like before he was born. What did we talk about and do all the time? Ha! He has certainly filled our days with more joy than I could have ever imagined.

We celebrated his birthday last weekend, and it was definitely a party to remember!

The invitation...

I made them on my computer- super easy and cheap!

Since this was such a milestone birthday, I wanted to make it extra special and include some of his preschool friends. Since he has been attending school with most of these kids since he was 2 years old, they have grown to be great friends and I thought Andrew would enjoy having them come to his party.

This was the party place! It was so nice not having to get my house all cleaned and ready. I have always done his parties at home, and I never will again! Letting someone else clean up the mess was worth every penny! Ha! And can you imagine a neater place for kids? They all were just in awe. This is the Fish Bowl at Bass Pro Shops! We love it here! We have declared Bass Pro the official place for Santa photo shoots, and we love to come here to just walk around and look at things. Andrew loves it here too. And he loves bowling- a double bonus! And what's better than a bowling alley with sharks and alligators spitting the balls out??

Andrew insisted on a Kung Fu Panda theme. At first, I was reluctant, but after I got into it and started planning and looking at ideas, I decided it was pretty fitting. After all, Andrew is a little warrior! And the new show on Nickelodeon is called "Legends of Awesomeness," and we think he's pretty awesome too! So I took the theme and ran with it...

The party favors...

I got chinese take out boxes from the HyVee Chinese Express (they are nice ones too! And they even say "thank you" on them!) Then I made name tags and filled them with chopsticks, a fortune cookie, a Kung Fu Panda mask, party blower, stickers and a few other small toys. I got a lot of things on sale since it was the Chinese new year- the year of the dragon! Perfect timing for a Kung Fu Panda party.

On the other side of the name tag it said: There is a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why we call it the 'present.'" Thank you for being part of our "present" and sharing Andrew's special day with us! I just printed them on labels and attached them to red scrapbook paper- super easy!

I downloaded the chinese symbol for gratitude and used it next to the names.

I was so glad I did cupcakes instead of a sheet cake this year- with 15 little kids eyeballing them there was no way I would have had time to cut all those in pieces!

They had the neatest party room that was very spacious with 3 big tables.

Andrew was so cute when he walked in and saw all the decorations. He was so excited. About a week leading up to his party he kept asking if it was his birthday yet. The morning of his party (which was 2 days before his actual birthday) he was eating breakfast and he said "I'm five now?!" It was so cute. I don't think he understood why he wasn't five yet! Ha!

This picture is blurry (it was kind of dark in there and I couldn't get the setting on my camera right quick enough!) but it is probably my favorite picture of the day. He was just so proud and happy here. I always make him a sign for all his parties- I think "5" might be the year I decide to stop making them! Ha! But it has been fun, and Andrew loves them. I ordered his personalized shirt online (I just did a google search).

I love this of his friends peering in the mouth waiting for the ball to come out! So cute!

So I didn't really think through the amount of kids that I invited... there were a ton! It was a little chaotic, to say the least. I had this fear of no one showing up, so I invited about 5 extra kids just in case. Well, everyone showed up! Ha! I was really happy actually. Andrew just loves all of his little friends, and it really meant a lot to him that they all came.

It was neat to have all of his friends from different places- two different preschools, our couple friends and their kids, his cousins, both sets of grandparents... all his favorite people in one place. It was pretty awesome.

I love this...surrounded by his buddies!

Five birthday candles...

This picture just cracks me up because it just sums up the chaos! Ha! I'm in a chair and Andrew is standing up, tearing into his presents and I could not get him to slow down. The kids are surrounding him about 1 inch away in this huge crowd! It is a miracle we kept track of what was from who (my friend was sitting across from me in the striped sweater and I was basically shouting out the name from the card to her, she'd write it down and then I'd hold up the gift! By that time, Andrew was digging into another! Ha!) We could barely keep up, but she did a great job (thanks, Alissa!) I'll be tackling the thank yous this weekend!

Posing in their masks...Norah, Andrew & Lilly

These are Andrew's two best friends from preschool, Nicholas and Payton. He talks about them both all the time.

Andrew & Landon

Lilly and Andrew- she's such a fashion diva! This is where we get Kerigan's clothes from (for those of you wondering how we always get her dressed so cute! They are hand me downs from the best dressed little girl I know!) We are lucky!

Exhibit A (Lilly's black jacket), but the funny story is her shirt. I have plenty more photos to post from our photo shoot from this day, but her onesie says "~~Lady~~ Baby Ga Ga." Which is pretty stinking appropriate, considering she IS named after her Ga Ga! Papa Jim found this onesie for her and said she had to have it!

Our family

I love how Andrew is giving daddy a hug. He's always been such a loving little boy!

After the party, grandma and grandpa Huegel came over to play!

Grandma brought Andrew these donuts that went with a card she gave him, and he liked them better than his cake! Ha! Can you tell he was thrilled?

That evening, Uncle Jay and Aunt Rachel and the kids came over for dinner- we got take out from Buffalo Wild Wings- it was so good!

Ha! Uncle Jay trying to get away with giving Kerigan a chip!

She loves sitting up at the table with us in her high chair. She just chills out while we eat- it is so nice! She is such a good baby!

Andrew was having fun playing with his balloons. We brought his decorations home and I redecorated the house for his real birthday on Monday.

Every year I always surprise him when he wakes up and have the house all decked out for his party, but since his party was somewhere else this year, I still wanted to make the house look special for him.

As you can tell...he's one happy little five year old! Daddy and I just got back from Kindergarten registration tonight. I couldn't believe it when we handed in those papers and walked out the door. Our little boy is actually signed up for Kindergarten. I still can't believe he's 5. What a milestone!

We love you buddy! You are AWESOME!

five

2012-01-30T22:04:00.000-08:00

1 day old

5 weeks- the day we went home from the NICU

8 months

15 months

1 year

2 years

3 years

4 years

My precious son~

I have to admit, this birthday letter to you is a little harder to write than all the others. I don't even know where to begin! How is it possible that my baby is FIVE years old? Andrew, there was once a day that we never knew if you'd even be here today. And to watch you now, so spunky, so grown up, and so full of life, it just brings tears to my eyes. You are here. And that is really all I ever wished for you. But not only are you here... you are SO much more than I could have ever dreamed.

You are the most amazing little boy I have ever known. You just emulate happiness and joy wherever you go. You absolutely love life. You love everything about it. You think even the smallest things are the best things in the world (your little glow in the dark dinosaurs, playing games with daddy and just hanging out at home). You appreciate everything. You love to be home and be with your family. Mommy likes to up the ante a little bit and try to give you everything and "show you the world," but you are content. And that is such a special thing about you, Andrew. You know what is truly important. You are wise beyond your years.

Clear Lake, Summer 2011

This has been a big year for you. A year of changes. You endured your third open heart surgery. You were so brave. I was so scared and worried to have you see your fresh scar running down your chest, but it didn't faze you a bit. You just went along like you always do, and you bounced back after only 4 days in the hospital. You amazed us all, as you always do. You have always been that way- a fighter. And so full of strength. You are a living, breathing miracle, Andrew. I don't want you to ever forget that. Remember everyday that you are here because God gave you life, and works through you every day to keep you on this Earth with us.

March 10, 2011

You started your last year of preschool this year. I can't believe it, but next fall you will be in Kindergarten. You will start the beginning of your school years. For you, it won't be that much different than what you do now. But for mommy, it means that you are no longer my baby, and you are growing up! It is so bittersweet. While I am so grateful to God for allowing you to grow up, I somehow want to cling to you and keep you my baby forever. You will always be my baby, Andrew. I know Kerigan is the baby now...but you were my first little baby. YOU made me a mommy. And there is just something extra special about that. You are so special to us, sweet boy. You are truly the sweetest little boy we know. You are so loving to everyone around you. The way you throw your arms around our necks, give us kisses, and put your little arm around me when we cuddle in bed... it literally melts my heart. I could stay that way forever. I just want to freeze time.

You became a big brother this year. Your precious sister, Kerigan was born, and there has been nothing sweeter for me than to watch you interact with her and love her. You absolutely adore your baby sister. Sometimes I think you love her so much you just want to "squeeze" her (which is what many adults say, but you actually do it! Ha!) You are the best big brother to her. She is a very lucky little girl to have you in her life. I am so proud of both of you.

Your first moments with your sister... July 2011

How grateful I am that I was able to give both of you the chance to have a sibling. I pray that you will always treasure that opportunity that I never had. I pray that you will always love each other, and be close. You are both miracles to me, and you are both very lucky to have each other. Neither one of you came easy to your mommy and daddy, and we worked hard to get you here! It is only by the grace of God. There's something else I never want you to forget!

This fall you were on your very first "team." You played soccer. Something else that we never thought you'd be able to do. Even though there was a little learning curve, I think you had fun! Mommy and daddy sure had fun going to your games. I hope and pray it was only the beginning of watching you participate in special activities. We want you to be able to do everything that you want to do in life. You deserve it!

You also took tumbling for the first time. You loved it! Your favorite thing was jumping on the trampoline!

You are at such a fun age. I just love it that we can now "hang out" together, and you are so fun to be with! I like to take you on little dates with me and do special things together. You are so funny, and you can always make me laugh. You have come such a long way from that tiny, 3lb 13oz little miracle that blessed our lives five years ago. Andrew, you are my firstborn. My first moments with you, when I became a mother... I'll never forget those moments for the rest of my life. Thank you for fighting! Those early moments when life was so uncertain... we bonded. And I know you wanted to know me. You pushed through and came out on top. The most special little person I know. I'm so glad I got to know you. And I love you more than words can express.

My five year old miracle...

Love Mommy

they make me smile

2012-01-24T19:18:00.000-08:00

In honor of my soon-to-be FIVE year old...I wanted to do an update all about him before his big birthday updates next week!

He has just been the best big brother lately! He has always loved his sister, but now that she can sit up, and she smiles at him every single time he looks at her, I think he loves her even more! They were hanging out in her crib the other day while I was putting clothes away. So sweet! Kerigan is just always happy when Andrew is around!

I have some more Andrew quotes to get down in the books...

Before Christmas he kept telling Kerigan "Be good (or nice) or you won't get any Christmas presents!" Ha! (I wonder where he heard that before??)

One night he was just enjoying playing with all of his toys. He was so sweet, looked up at me and told me "mommy, thank you for all of my things.... (then he thought for a minute and said)... AND my baby!" (melt.my.heart).

I love to watch him play with her. He gives her toys and talks so sweetly to her. The other night they were playing and I heard him tell her "Oh Kerigan! You're so smart!" when she was playing with a toy.

Unfortunately, he caught the flu for a second time this month (thankfully before his birthday!) When I was cleaning and he was on the mend, I gave him a bath. When he was in the tub he asked me "Are all the germs getting off?" I told him they were and he said "So I can touch Kerigan!?" Ha! He was banned from going near her and I think he really missed her!

The other night before his bath he was going potty. He was trying to coax me out of the bathroom (so he could unroll the toilet paper for the gazillionth time). I kept peeking at him and he yelled "Go away! I'll be fine here!" Ha! I came back to check on him and asked if he was done and he said "No, go away! Ten minutes!" What a little old man!

One weekend when he spent the night at Ga Ga's, they usually have Papa's pancakes in the morning. They didn't have an ingredient so they had to eat waffles instead. Andrew was just sitting there, staring at his waffle. My mom asked him what he was doing and he said "Waiting for them to turn into pancakes!"

Andrew and daddy were putting together a puzzle and I kept hearing Craig tell Andrew to help. It was kind of a challenging one and Andrew was letting daddy do most of it. I heard Andrew say "Daddy, you're doing great!" Ha!

He has been really into retelling stories and asking questions as we read. He got the Gingerbread Man book from his teacher for Christmas and he loves it and can read it almost all from memory. He'll go along and then he'll stop and say "What's gonna happen? Raise your hand!" Then he wants me to raise my hand and he calls on me! It is too funny.

Along with reading... his all time favorite bedtime stories right now are:

This one he pretty much reads the entire book from memory. It is different on every page, one page they are jumping on the bed, the next they are tumbling on the bed, then sliding on the bed, etc. He loves the different verbs and figuring out what they are doing.

This one is his very favorite. He wants it read to him every single night. I'm not sure why, but I am guessing it's because he loves animals, although I often try to coax him into a different one with animals and he insists on this one. The other night when I was reading it to him I was trying to get away with shortening it up a little (it's long!) but he wasn't having it! One of the lines says... "George, don't you know you're not supposed to feed the animals? The wrong food might make them sick." I said, "It might make them sick," and he immediately looked up at me and said "The WRONG FOOD might make them sick!" I couldn't believe that he actually knew every line and if I was saying it right or not! Ha! He doesn't let us get by with anything!

I loved this. One morning Andrew was playing with one of Kerigan's toys (a picnic basket) and they were having a picnic together!

He was sharing the food with her and spreading the blanket all out.

Such a good big brother! I hope they will always play together and be friends!

I laughed out loud when I came around the corner and saw this!

And this! Ha! I haven't taken a picture of him sleeping in a long time because I'm always nervous he's going to wake up. But I felt pretty safe this time that he was cashed out for the night!!

I took this a while ago after Kerigan had just started day care and I forgot it was on my phone but I thought it was so cute. This is pretty much what happens after day care around here! They are zonked and just want to relax! We live for stay home days!!

Daddy and Andrew playing Candyland with Kung Fu Panda toys! Ha!

We are trying hard to teach him that games are supposed to be fun and it doesn't matter who wins or loses. He does a pretty good job of this. But when they are playing and he's ahead, he'll usually say "I'm winning!" Ha!

One of Andrew's most favorite things to do is go to my heart support group meetings with me. This is him with his little heart buddy, also an Andrew! They have dress up clothes and lots of fun toys for the kids to play with while us heart mamas have a super fun time just chatting! It's kind of like a mom's night out! We do discuss heart-related things too...but mostly we just eat cookies and visit! It's good therapy! Ha!

We were all cracking up on the way out because I always worry about him picking up some sickness (which I'm pretty sure this is where he got his last flu bug!) But he had this teddy bear from preschool he was supposed to take on adventures and document it for a class book. I couldn't help but think of all the germy places it has been! Ha! So I picked it up by its ear and Andrew copied me, and yes, that's hand sanitizer he's holding! Ha! We slathered him up before we left (and I was tempted to give teddy a bath, but I refrained. Didn't want to ruin the class teddy).

Just hanging out watching TV on some boxes (that are still sitting in the middle of the family room because I haven't had time to put them away!)

We made a large trip to Sams for formula, diapers and wipes! $200 later... yikes! I'm not wishing time away, but it will be nice when she's eating table food and is potty trained! Ha!

We started a point sheet for Andrew with some things he can earn stickers for (picking up toys, hanging up his things after school, etc). When he fills up a row he gets a prize (the whole sheet gets him a toy from Target!) One of the top ones is "being nice and gentle to Kerigan." I thought this one would be super hard for him...but tonight he earned his first full row and that was what filled up first! I was so proud of him. He has been doing so well lately and just being the best big brother. He got this prize (yes, another Happy meal toy from Ebay!) to go with his Kung Fu Panda party this weekend! He was beyond thrilled.

This was so sweet- Papa and Ga Ga came over for dinner the other night and brought Andrew a little something because he had been sick (spoiled I know). But these little glow in the dark dinosaurs were from the dollar store and they were just about the best thing he's ever gotten. He and Papa had so much fun holding them up to the light and taking them in the bathroom to see them glow. He'd say "come on Papa! Let's go see!" Then he'd come running back out and drag Ga Ga in, then me, etc. He was just having a blast.

We had Andrew's conference this week at his day care (which is also preschool). He is doing so well. I love his teacher Missey (she is the director of the center and she is awesome). She really works hard teaching the kids to draw and stay inside the lines! Ha! Andrew came home with this picture and I was super impressed with the way he drew the people!

I asked him to tell me about it. So this is hilarious... Daddy is on the left (ha!) Andrew is on the right (do you like all of our ears?) And apparently mommy is the big one in the middle! I asked where his sister was and he pointed to my belly (see the little person inside??) He said "that's my baby in your tummy!" I could not believe he did that! I thought that was just about the cutest thing (and most clever!) And I'm trying not to overanalyze why he made me huge, towering over himself and daddy! Ha! I'm hoping this isn't how he views our family dynamics!

Just a couple of other random things... several people have been asking me about whether or not we have started Andrew on oxygen (remember, from this post?) He did have a cardiology appointment a while ago (and I didn't post about it because we really didn't get any new information- he didn't have an echo done because he had just had his cath and it would be too soon to tell if the stent was helping the PA's grow). We discussed oxygen with his cardiologist and he recommended that we wait. Wait until his next cath this spring to see if there was any change. He said if things looked the same or worse (which he didn't think would happen), then we could try it. I am okay with that. I'd like to see if the stent will work on its own anyway. So we'll go from there once we have more info from his next cath.

We recently had an IEP meeting to discuss Andrew's move to Kindergarten in the fall (gasp, I know!) He is doing so well that they actually dropped his social goal. This goal was intended to help with peer relationships. He used to be very independent and would often rather play alone, or move to another activity if another child would join him (I'm thinking he wasn't interested in sharing! Ha!) He also needed help with skills such as responding to questions, and asking peers to play appropriately (rather than chucking a toy across the room at them! Ha!) He has grown and matured so much, his teacher is dropping this from his IEP. I am very happy that he's come so far and has improved so much in these areas. I have noticed it too when I drop him off and pick him up. He's always right there in the center of his circle of friends, playing, running, and interacting just like the other kids. It makes me smile. A lot.

Something else hearing related that we discussed at the meeting... To prepare him for Kindergarten they wanted to do a test (called a functional listening assessment) to see if Andrew's hearing was discrepant enough for him to qualify for an FM system, that would be attached to his hearing aids and will amplify the teacher's voice (he/she would wear a microphone) no matter where they are in the room. He will hear the teacher over everything else. This is so important for him because when he wears his aids, he can hear ALL sounds- and they are all amplified the same amount. Can you imagine hearing the fan running, the pencil sharpener, the kids talking, the teacher's pen tapping, etc, etc... all the same volume?? He has to learn how to tune out unwanted noise. No easy task, but he's done such a great job. His audiologist and hearing teacher performed the test today and here was the email I received... I wanted to share part of it so I have it recorded:

All of the testing done today was AUDITORY only. This means Andrew could not see my lips, as they were covered using a "speaker screen". Andrew was asked to repeat 10 Common Children's Phrases in 4 different situations: Close/quiet, Close/noise, Distant/Quiet, Distant/Noise. The close situations were when Andrew was only 3 feet from me, the distant situations were when Andrew was 6 feet from me. The noise was recorded "Cafeteria Noise" that was at a loudness of 65dBHL. My voice in the close situation was at 75dBHL and at 67 dBHL at a distance. So signal to noise close was +10 dBHL and signal to noise distant was +2 dBHL. That means my voice was 10 dBHL louder than the noise in the close situation and 2 dBHL louder in the distant situation. This is similar to what happens in a classroom when there is background noise and the teacher is away from the student.

Here are Andrew's scores:

close/quiet: 80% correct
Close/noise: 70% correct
Distant/quiet: 70% correct
Distant/noise: 60% correct

As you can see, both distance and noise had an impact on how Andrew was hearing and able to repeat the sentences correctly. Heartland has done this testing with normal hearing peers in order to get peer comparison. Here are the averages for normal hearing peers:

close/quiet: 97%
Close/noise: 91%
distant/quiet: 94%
distant/noise: 95%

As you can see, Andrew is discrepant from normal hearing peers in all situations. Because his scores are discrepant, because the SIFTER (Screening Instrument for Targeting Educational Risk in Preschool Children) indicates he is 'At Risk' for the Attention area, and because he seems to be more easily distracted in the classroom, I would like to recommend a trial with an FM assistive listening device system. As I explained at his IEP meeting, the school would provide a teacher microphone that would transmit to school provided receivers that would hook up to his personal hearing aids. Andrew will still be able to hear peers and environmental sounds through his hearing aids but the teacher's voice will be "amplified" to him above the background noise.

I am so happy that he qualified for the FM system. I think it can only serve as a huge benefit to his learning as he begins Kindergarten this fall. I am praying that this will help him "take off" and have the same opportunities as his peers, even with his hearing loss.

And him starting Kindergarten? Yeah, that's a whole other post for another time!

For now I'll leave you with a picture of the lights of my life!!

They also make me smile. A lot.

new years & a late christmas

2012-01-21T18:39:00.000-08:00

Once again I'm getting delayed with my posts... I need to back up to New Years Eve! Ha! Obviously my resolution needs to be keeping up with the blog. I am determined to do a couple posts this week to get ready for Andrew's special day next week! He is having his very first ever "friend" birthday party, not at our house... and he is so thrilled (and so am I...no cleaning or having to get the house ready to entertain! Ha!)

We spent New Years Eve at ImagineEve downtown. We had so much fun last year that we wanted to do it again. We met Uncle Jay, Aunt Rachel and the kids for a yummy dinner at Red Robin before heading downtown. We all chuckled thinking- who would have ever thought we'd be spending New Years Eve at Red Robin with our 4 kids?? It was a little chaotic, but we all agreed there is nothing else we'd rather have done!

ImagineEve is a family event with plenty of bounce houses, slides...and clowns!

Andrew and his cousins, Evelyn and Jayden

They just went from one slide to the next. One thing I always notice about these particular slides- they actually shine and sparkle...like they are clean! Ha! I realize they are crawling with germs but they do look like they are in good shape and clean-ish. Which makes this germ-phobe mama happy!

This clown had a puppy, Andrew was excited! Ha!

The favorite slide... McQueen!

Sweet cousins- 4 days apart!

Kerigan loves Aunt Rachel! She loves to carry Kerigan around all the time...spoiled girl! Ha!

Kerigan loves her cousins too...she loves little kids! I think they all remind her of her brother, who she just adores. She smiles at pretty much everybody, but she always smiles at other kids!

Andrew cracks me up with his hand in his pocket! What a big boy! The kids loved this dragon slide!

He loved the Scooby Doo bounce house!

He just came flying down this slide...all flipped over! Ha!

The neatest thing is watching the fireworks from the skywalk. The kids were just mesmerized! Afterwards we all came back to our house and the kids played and we had treats and we almost made it to midnight! All the kids played hard until about 11:30 and then they crashed! Ha!

The weekend after New Years we celebrated a late Christmas with my grandma, and uncle, aunt and cousins.

Andrew loved this lizard that was on his present.

He would not put it down and has played with it every day since!

This dinosaur was another favorite! He wanted to take it to show and tell at school the next day! (Note the lizard in his hand still! Ha!)

Ga Ga and Papa with Kerigan

She was so sweet opening her presents.

She grabbed at everything and loves it all! She loved this book that lights up and plays music.

Love her going after the wrapping!

She's got it all figured out!

This is another favorite toy she got! She just grins and giggles at it all the time!

Kerigan with her second cousin- Kelsie. This is about her 4th Christmas outfit I think, but this is a special one because this little dress belonged to Kelsie when she was a baby! It was so fun to dress her in it and show Kelsie that she used to be that little once! Ha!

And I look at this picture and can remember when Kelsie was born and I cannot imagine my daughter ever being as big as she is now! Time just flies! It seems like just yesterday I was holding Kelsie just like this!

Kendra, Kerigan and Kelsie

I love this picture. This is Kolton, my first cousin on my mom's side of the family. We are 25 years apart (I was the only grandchild until he came along! Ha!) Anyway, when Kolton was a baby I just adored him (of course I still do!) We spent a lot of time with them up at the lake in the summers and Kolton was like my baby! Now it is so fun seeing him with my babies! He is normally off building with legos or something, but I caught him being so cute with Kerigan! She loved him!

My grandma with all her grandkids (and only great grandchildren, Andrew & Kerigan)

Our whole family (Craig was clearly not ready for the photo shoot! Ha!) except for my other uncle who took the picture and refuses to be in photos!

We had a great time over the holidays and I can't believe they are over already and the Christmas decorations are down (well...except the outside lights!) My goal is always to have everything down by Andrew's birthday, so we're doing good! I can't believe next week my baby will be FIVE.

Lots of birthday fun coming up!

Little Miss {six months}

2012-01-12T20:00:00.000-08:00

My sweet daughter... how is it possible that you are already HALF a year old? It really does just seem like yesterday that we brought you home. You have filled our home with even more happiness, more joy, more laughs and more smiles. We can't even remember what it was like before you were here. You were just what we needed, baby girl. We love you more than words can express!

You weigh 17lb 12oz! That is the 80% for weight. You are 27 1/4 in. long and that is in the 91%! You are tall, girlie! Maybe you will be a basketball player! You wear mostly 6-9 month clothes but you can definitely wear 12 month also. For summer I am already buying 18-24 month stuff! You need to slow down sweet girl! You're growing so fast. You have the biggest leg rolls I've ever seen and I love every single chubby roll you have! Your brother was so skinny, the two of you are so different!

This photo shoot was next to impossible to do because you are grabbing at everything! You would not keep your hands off the bumper, your pillow, the crib rails, your dress...everything!

(This is how it mostly went! Ha!)

You have done some special things this month... one of them being sitting up on your own! You did it the day before Christmas Eve. I just plopped you down and you stayed put! You rarely fall backwards now... only if Andrew decides it's time for you to lay down and gives you a ~~shove~~ gentle nudge. Ha! You are getting closer to crawling. You try so hard! You push up as high as you can with your arms and pull your legs up, but that bottom just won't get off the floor at the same time! You are working on it though!

I had to bring your daddy in to help you smile because you were so distracted with other things! Ha! So here you were, looking at him. You love your daddy so much. Maybe it's because he holds you all weekend long! Ha!

You have teeth! TWO of them! We noticed your bottom right one coming in first. Within a day or so, we felt the one right next to it. Now we can really see them! They are the cutest little teeth I have ever seen! You smile just right so they show and I love it. The best part is, you have still just been so happy and sweet- we never would have known you were cutting teeth. They don't seem to bother you at all! Let's hope it stays that way with the rest of them!

Daddy is gloating around here because you said your first word: Da Da! I am not sure it's officially your first word though since you don't necessarily associate it with your daddy- you say it all the time! Ha! Although I use it to my advantage in the mornings when we hear you on the monitor just chatting away in your crib saying "Da da da da da da da" over and over again! Ha! You also make other sounds that sound like words: "Hieeee" and "yah yah yah." It is pretty darn cute.

You may say "da da" but you are definitely a mama's girl. Lately you will get whiny if you see me and I don't pick you up! You could be perfectly happy in your jumperoo or playing on the floor with daddy, but when I walk by, you start to cry! Silly girl. I love that you are my girl, but I'm not sure how many more meals I can eat one handed while trying to keep you from pulling my placemat off the table, or how much more I can carry you around while unloading the dishwasher or throwing in a load of laundry. Although you do love to watch me do these things. You watch so intently with those big blue eyes (yes they are still blue!) My favorite thing to do with you is hold you high in the air and bring you down to my forehead and make silly noises- you giggle so much every time! A silly little belly laugh. I just love it!

Love those big beautiful eyes!

This picture inspired your favorite Christmas present from Ga Ga and Papa. This is the jumperoo at your day care (this was taken about 2 months ago). You absolutely go crazy over it. You love the one you got for Christmas. You just jump your little heart out and squeal and smile the whole time! I just giggle every time because I love watching your little legs go! You are so funny. This picture also sums up how well you are doing at day care (but makes me sad because of all the fun mommy is missing!) You love the girls and you reach for them in the mornings when I drop you off. They love you and tell me every day how sweet, laid back, adorable, happy and easy you are. I am so proud of you baby girl!

Feeding is going sort of slowly. This could be partly our faults for not keeping you on a good schedule with solids, but you aren't that crazy about them yet. You mainly just taste, bite the spoon and sometimes you'll keep some in your mouth, but mostly you just spit everywhere!

We are still working on getting through the veggies before we start fruit. I am thinking once you eat fruit you will decide you love to eat.

You have had carrots and peas so far.

You love to grab things- you grabbed the spoon and wanted to feed yourself! Miss Independent!

I am trying to let you be more independent and make messes. This was so hard for me to do with your brother! You will learn this about mommy- I do not like messes! Ha! I like clean kids and a clean and organized house! I am thinking you are going to be my child that deviates from my plan! Ha!

Luckily, you love your bath time! You start squealing the minute we go into the bathroom and when I lay you down to take your clothes off you just go crazy. Your legs start kicking and you squeal and smile so big!

This is your "I'm such a big girl" face! You shake your arms and your little legs just go to town and you get this tough look on your face!

Smiley!

All snuggly in your towel! You are sucking your thumb here, and you do sometimes, but much to my delight- you will now take a paci and keep it in your mouth! That is my persistency, because you certainly wanted nothing to do with it! It's taken 6 months girlie, but mommy won the war! Ha!

Now you have to have your paci and bunny blankie up by your face and you will immediately go to sleep. You have gotten on such a great schedule at day care. Where I miss those days of sleeping in with you, cuddled in my bed and you eating at random times every day, I have to say I love that you wake up every day at the same time (6am), talk so sweetly in your crib, and eat 6oz every 3 hours like clockwork. You take a couple of mini morning naps, and a 2 hour nap in the afternoons.

(This was taken on New Years Eve- you weren't quite 6 months yet but I just love this picture soooo much. It depicts your personality perfectly.)

Kerigan, you are just a bright and shining star. You are our "dolly girl" (as Andrew calls you) and you just light up the room with that smile. You smile absolutely all the time- at everybody. You just have the best little personality and we couldn't be more proud of you.

road trip

2012-01-08T20:25:00.000-08:00

Thank you all so much for your sweet emails, comments and facebook messages on my last post. I promise to update the story if and when we meet Dennis' family. He was such a sweet man- I feel I succeeded in telling the story that glorified God, and gave Dennis the recognition he deserves. I hope Dennis and Andrew's story touched even just one person enough to cause them to stop and think about how they can touch someone's life today and always!

Now... on to our road trip! The week after Christmas we were all still on break, so we decided it would be fun to take a little mini trip north once again to visit one of our favorite destinations! Minneapolis! My mom and I wanted to check out the after Christmas sales and my mom had a few more gifts to purchase which we thought would be fun to do afterwards and hit the sales!

Andrew was especially excited to ride the fly boat this time, since he has really gotten into the Wonder Pets since our last visit.

He had the time of his life! This was the first thing we had to do when we got there! The next stop was the Disney store! Andrew got one more gift from Ga Ga- a Cars 2 launch set that was on sale. Score!

Little miss isn't old enough yet to hit us up for toys! But she will be soon enough! The clothes are cute enough that we could spend our entire life savings just on clothes for her! Dangerous!

The most fun part for Andrew was staying in a hotel and getting to go swimming! We just wanted to have a relaxing time, so after we hit the Mall of America and IKEA, we headed to dinner and then back to the hotel to swim.

Even Kerigan got in the pool and enjoyed it! She wasn't too sure (it was a little colder than her bath water!) but it was actually heated pretty well so she could stay in for a bit.

Andrew's favorite thing- after his bath we all made hot chocolate in our hotel room- with extra marshmallows!

Andrew's new thing is acting silly when I try to take pictures of him. He thinks it is so funny! I usually laugh, until I get tired of telling him to say cheese, act nice, behave...over and over! Ha!

After a delicious breakfast at the hotel in the morning (we made our own waffles! Andrew loved it!) We went swimming some more...

You can see more of his silly antics! Ha! Seriously- this is what he does every time I tell him to say cheese!

I finally got a half-blurry shot of him in the whirlpool!

After we relaxed that morning, and packed up our things, we headed back to the MOA to catch the "train" (aka "light rail!") to downtown Minneapolis! This is something Ga Ga and Papa had been wanting to do with Andrew for a long time- they knew he'd love it! And he certainly did!

The light rail is just a tram type thing that goes on a little track across the city and stops periodically to pick up and drop off. Andrew thought it was just about the coolest thing ever. Ha!

Thanks for taking me on the train Ga Ga and Papa!

Craig insisted I take this picture! Ha!

Getting off the train and heading to Macy's!

There is Macy's on the corner!

The first stop at Macy's had to be the 8th floor display. This is one of my favorite things to do at holiday time. I have said this in previous posts, but when I was a little girl, we went to Minneapolis every year at Christmas time and my parents took me to the 8th floor. Every year they have a different theme, and then at the end is Santa! (Since we were after Christmas, Santa wasn't here... the ladies told us he went back to the North Pole!) But it was so funny because when I was little the REAL Santa was always here- in Minneapolis on the 8th floor. All the other Santa's were just his elves (my parents totally brainwashed me!) Ha!

This year's display (they've done the same for a few years now) was "A Day in the Life of an Elf," which I thought was quite appropriate since Andrew just really got into his Elf this year. He just loved the displays!

So much, that we went through it twice! The best part- it was after Christmas so there were hardly any people! In the past we've waited in 2 hour long lines all through the store to get up here! This was great!

And I could take all the pictures I wanted because no one was waiting for me!

The displays are so detailed... this is the Elf toy making room

I know... I have no words, either! Isn't she just a doll? She looks like she belongs in the elf toy factory!

My camera did something weird to Andrew's face here, but I still liked the picture!

This was Andrew's favorite scene- the barn with the reindeer! He was all concerned about where Rudolph was and he was not happy with my picture taking. He kept saying "No more pictures!"

I love this- the Elf mail room. I guess Andrew was trying to figure out if that letter was from him! Ha!

His favorite part was this little elf that spun around in circles!

The elf bakery! Yum!

Andrew acting silly...again! Just wanted to give you some proof that I was there! Ha!

Afterwards we headed down to the marketplace and surveyed all the yummy treats!

We picked out the best thing... Macy's sugar cookies! Oh my!

Heading back on the light rail! Andrew was acting silly in Papa's hat! Ha!

We had a great post-Christmas adventure! It's always fun to do something after all the craziness of the holidays.

You never know when you touch a life...

2012-01-02T21:21:00.000-08:00

I don't usually write new years resolutions. Making a list of the goals I want to accomplish for the new year seems daunting and overwhelming to me. I prefer to just have an overall picture of what I want the new year to bring, and to remember some simple things or phrases that will make memories for my family. The title of this post is one of those phrases that I was reminded of recently, and I'd like to share the story behind it. Not only is it an amazing tribute to our Andrew, it is also a good reminder to all of us while making our resolutions...

Do you ever sometimes feel overwhelmed and choose not to do something because either you don't have time, or you feel like what you do won't make a difference anyway? You think that that person won't care or won't remember what you did, so why bother?

This story changed that for me. Never again will I think that. And for the rest of my life I want to do things like this to make a difference in someone's life.

Two years ago, we were busily making plans for Andrew to transition from early childhood services to an IEP. I remember this time, which seems like forever ago, so clearly. My baby, who had endured so much in his short life, was about to start preschool. He would be 3 years old, and therefore eligible for an IEP which enabled him to receive special services at a local elementary school and transportation to and from day care on a real SCHOOL BUS.

This was no small feat.

I was terrified. While at the same time, I wanted him to be successful, and I knew this was what was best for him. I was back to work full time, and I couldn't take him to preschool myself, much to my disappointment. I wasn't very excited about this bus thing. But I knew Andrew would be thrilled.

And it turned out to be something pretty special because of one very special person. Bus driver Dennis.

(First day of preschool, February 2010)

Dennis made Andrew's first bus riding experience such a special one. Every day he had animal crackers and he gave them to the kids as they got on his bus. Dennis loved children. You could just tell. I only met him a handful of times, since obviously I was at work when he picked up and dropped Andrew off. The first time I met him, it was a blizzard outside on a cold February day, on Andrew's very first day of preschool. I took the morning off to go with him through the day so he would feel comfortable and would know that mommy knew what was going on.

Dennis pulled up to Andrew's day care with a reassuring smile and an animal cracker for Andrew. Andrew thought it was the greatest thing ever. And he never stopped talking about Dennis from then on. He even wanted to include Dennis in our prayers every night. And every time he saw a school bus, or played with his toy busses, he'd say "Dennis!" Dennis gave all the kids a little sack full of animal crackers at the end of the year, and Andrew clutched it so tight and only ate a couple of cookies a day, as if to savor them. It seemed he loved them not because they were animal cookies, but because they were from Dennis.

Dennis became a very special person to Andrew. And I appreciated it so much because I was apprehensive about this school bus thing. It was all new to me. But somehow, knowing how much Andrew loved Dennis, I felt better. I knew he was safe and I knew Andrew loved riding that bus with all his heart.

(First time on the bus...looks apprehensive but he enjoyed it)

When that school year ended, we received notice that Andrew would be transferring to another school within the district. My heart just sank because I suspected that would also mean a new bus driver.

Being a teacher, I know that there are many people "behind the scenes" that don't get thanked for what they do. "Lunch ladies," crossing guards, janitors....and bus drivers. I knew right away that I needed to write a thank you to Dennis. For making such a difference in Andrew's life, and for making his first experience with school and riding the bus such a special and positive one. I really didn't think much of it at the time. I just wrote him a note, and I had Andrew decorate it with his handprint and I helped him sign his name. I also gave Dennis a copy of the photo above as the cover on a notecard that I wrote his thank you on. I called the bus garage to get his last name and I mailed it directly to the bus garage (they assured me he would receive it even though it was the beginning of summer).

Later that summer, our family went to Disneyworld. We were sitting in the heat, sweating, having lunch in a crowded, noisy restaurant. I had taken Andrew to the potty when my cell phone rang. Craig answered because I wasn't by my phone. After a few minutes, Craig finally figured out who was calling. It was Dennis. I was so upset that I had missed his call. He was calling to thank me for the note I had sent. He and Craig had a short conversation and Craig told me the jist of it. I knew when we got back home I wanted to return his call and talk to him myself. So I did, and we chatted for a while and I told him how much I appreciated how nice he was to our son and how much Andrew loved him. He told me how much that note meant to him, and that he had it posted on his bulletin board at the bus garage. I thought that was so sweet. I could have cried when I found out he would have a different bus driver the following year. I knew Andrew would wonder where Dennis was and why he wasn't driving the bus anymore.

As time went on, I never forgot about Dennis. Andrew continued to talk about him from time to time. One evening last winter, Andrew and I were at a basketball game at Craig's school and an older man came up to me and asked if this was Andrew. I knew I recognized him, but couldn't place who he was. The man looked at Andrew and said "Andrew knows who I am, don't you Andrew?" Andrew grinned shyly up at me and said quietly, "Dennis." I was so thrilled! He told me that he still saw Andrew some days because his bus route connected somehow at Andrew's new school. I was so happy to hear this. He expressed concern over Andrew's upcoming heart surgery and mentioned that he would be thinking of him. He was just one of the sweetest men I had ever met. He reminded me so much of my dad. That night on the way home, Andrew talked about seeing Dennis, and that he wanted to go to Dennis' house! Ha! He said "Maybe Dennis could come over to my house, or I can go to Dennis house!" Sweet boy.

I never saw Dennis again after that night. This year Andrew has another new bus driver, Steve. We love him too! I got to know Steve because I was home this semester with Kerigan, so the bus came to our house to pick up and drop off Andrew. On Andrew's last day before Christmas break, I had Steve come pick him up at home since Craig and I were both home and I knew Andrew loved having the bus come to his house. I sent a little plate of cookies and a thank you note for Andrew to give Steve. He was thrilled to get them, and he then asked me to step on the bus for a minute. He asked if Andrew had ridden the bus with Dennis and if I knew him. My heart just sank because I knew what he was going to say.

Dennis had passed away. Just a few days before Christmas. He had driven a bus load of boys to a basketball game and the players came out and found him unresponsive on the bus. Several coaches and a student performed CPR on him and he later died at the hospital. How appropriate that he had passed away doing what he loved most- driving the school bus.

His funeral had just passed, and Steve thought I would want to know that the note I wrote to him was printed on the back of the funeral program. Apparently, I hadn't identified myself on the note other than writing "Andrew's mommy." So no one knew who I was. But Dennis did. And that is really all that mattered. Steve made the connection when I brought the cookies out with the thank you note.

I just walked in the house and burst into tears. For so many reasons. I was so sad. There is no reason for Andrew to know that his special friend is no longer on this Earth. I'm sure as time goes on memories of Dennis will fade for him. But I will never forget. This man who touched my son's life in such a special way. I'm so sad I missed his funeral. I'm sure his family would have liked to meet "Andrew's mommy" and the special boy that Dennis thought so much of. I have plans to find their address and send a card, and possibly arrange a visit for us sometime. I have a feeling that we don't know the end of this story yet. The story of a little boy and his bus driver. A very special and unexpected friendship.

As I've reflected on this... I realized that Dennis taught me so many things.

I am so humbled and honored that his family would choose to copy my letter on the back of his program. The program, which is such a symbol of the life that he led, a beginning and an ending to an amazing life. That my letter meant that much to him. It meant something to his family. Because it recognized the person they loved and cherished so much. It brought to life the relationship that Dennis had with the children whose lives he touched. That one special little boy, my Andrew, was someone who meant so much to a man that his tribute was printed for all to see.

(You can see Dennis waving through the window. I am so glad I have these pictures)

What you do matters. Even if you think it won't. Do it anyway. Write that thank you note. Tell someone how much they mean to you. They will remember. Trust me.

That's my new years resolution.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

2011-12-31T19:19:00.000-08:00

Christmas day was just a beautiful day. In every sense of the word. Just getting to be home together as a family and celebrate Jesus' birth was more than I could have ever asked for. We just enjoyed every single minute of it. And we stayed in our jammies. The whole entire day! Pure bliss.

The best part was when Andrew woke up and came running in our room. Ga Ga and Papa had stayed overnight too, so they could witness Santa's visit. My mom said she had to stop him from going downstairs and made him wake us up first (she had strict orders! Ha!) So right around 6:45, Andrew scooted down the stairs and saw the tree. And immediately he did this...

And honestly I could have cried right then and there. The quality isn't great, my camera was on the wrong setting from the night before and it was still dark outside. I happened to have it close by me and I snapped this in a split second. And I'm so glad I did. It's what I want to remember forever. Just the pure joy on his little face. The wonder and excitement. The innocence of a child. Santa had come. Plain and simple. No questions, just belief in magic. Be still my heart!

We then ran over to see if the cookies were gone (as I was stalling him, waiting for daddy and Papa to rise!) He found some crumbs, an empty glass of milk and a note from Buddy the Elf.

He was so excited when he saw his stocking. It was so sweet because he noticed right away that we all had something in our stocking except for daddy. He pointed at it immediately and said "Daddy doesn't have anything in his stocking!" He looked sad! Sweet boy. I told him it was okay because Santa only fills children's stockings, not mommies and daddies. The present in mine was from daddy, and I had other gifts for daddy under the tree. I thought it was so sweet he was worried about daddy not getting anything!

He didn't know what to open first- his stocking or the presents under the tree. I let him choose and he picked his stocking. By this time, Kerigan was up and I got them both on the floor together long enough to snap my other favorite picture of the entire holiday season...

My two babies on Kerigan's very first Christmas morning. It just brings tears to my eyes. I will treasure this picture for the rest of my life.

And this image of my baby girl going after her dolly from Santa. Priceless. It's like she knew just what to do!

Kerigan loving her dolly and Andrew hugging something else! Ha! He is really into hugging things lately. He got lots of new cars from Cars 2 in his stocking.

My sweet girl and her first dolly. We got her name embroidered on the front and I just love it. She loves it, too. She has already been playing with it and it has become a favorite toy. I love it for her first doll because it is all soft, even the face.

After stockings Andrew tore up the dining room and ripped through his presents so fast! He was excited about every single one of them though! I have noticed on Facebook recently people discussing whether or not they wrap Santa presents. I have never even thought of not wrapping them! For me, the most fun part is the anticipation of what is inside the gifts, and I feel like if they were all unwrapped, it would be all over so fast because he'd see everything right away! To each their own...but for me...the fun part is wrapping them (of course, Santa has "special" paper, different from the rest of the gifts!)

This was the one I couldn't wait to see. That one special item he had begged for in the store back in October and I had told him Christmas was coming. So he had asked Santa and talked about this gift for 3 months. It is the "mean boat" and the "crabby boat" from Cars 2.

It was so amazing to see him ask Santa for something he wanted so badly, and then to see him open it and know that Santa brought him what he wished for. I just have to write this story because I always want to remember it. So, the "mean boat" (as he calls it) and the crabby boat usually come packaged separately. He had seen them in 2 different boxes in the store. Every time we went to Target or Walmart he wanted to go look at it. And every time he'd say "We'll have to ask Santa to bring me these!" So, when I found this 3-pack at Toys R Us, I knew I'd hit the jackpot (the spy train was just a bonus! He loved it too!) And I knew he wouldn't be expecting a big box like this. So he pretty much dug in to all the other presents first, and I could tell he was trying to figure out which one was the mean boat. I even asked him what he thought each one was before he opened it and he'd say "Mean boat!" But he was wrong every time. I finally coaxed him into opening the big gift. Needless to say, he was thrilled. He kept talking about it and I told him that Santa had put it in a different box. He was so funny because he thinks Santa "tricked" him by doing this! He'll say "Santa tricked me! He put mean boat and crabby boat in the same box! That's silly!" He is so darn funny about it. I think he'll always remember Santa's big trick! Ha!

He had also asked Santa for these Angry Birds! Ya think he's slightly excited??

The mess! Ha!

We took a break after Santa gifts and played with his new toys and some of his new games while I threw brunch together. It was hard to try to cook and watch Andrew open presents! I wanted to get it in the oven before we started opening, but Andrew was too fast!

Little miss hung out in her new jumperoo and was so happy all day!

Brunch was ready! Egg casserole and monkey bread! Yum! Seriously, some of my favorite food is brunch food. Love it! After brunch Ga Ga and Papa had to go to another Christmas for a couple of hours so we used that time to open gifts from each other.

I love how Kerigan can sit up now! She knew just what to do- she'd tear into the paper and then put it in her mouth! We had to watch her super close!

Every Christmas has to have a good surprise, right? This was the biggest surprise of the day. Something he totally wasn't expecting and had never seen before but I knew he'd go nuts over it. His face here just makes my heart melt.

He is obsessed with the Wonder Pets. I think I have about 34 episodes of it on our DVR! Craig keeps saying our other shows aren't going to record because our DVR is too full with Andrew's shows! Ha! Anyway, he also is obsessed with toy figures like these- particularly ones that go with shows or movies that he loves. I spotted this back in the summer at Walmart (and haven't seen it since!) It was the only one on the shelf and I grabbed it to save for Christmas. I could not wait for him to open it. His reaction did not disappoint!

One happy boy!

Andrew also got the Leap Pad from mommy and daddy. I knew this was the year he was ready for it. I had the Leapster Explorer purchased last year, and I ended up returning it because I knew he wouldn't "get it." But this year, with how much he loves playing with my iPhone, I knew he'd love his own! And I'm so glad I waited another year because the Leap Pad is so neat! It is touch screen and has so many more apps you can download. It was also so sweet- Daddy went shopping for the kids and I didn't know what he got them. He had a great idea to get Kerigan her own little laptop, which I thought was so sweet! So here are the kids posed with their little computers! Ha!

Kerigan and her laptop!

I think daddy was most excited about this Nerf gun he picked up for Andrew. He had it all put together for him so he could play with it right away. We've had darts shooting across the house for days, and we've already lost about 5 of them! Boys will be boys!

This was a special gift I worked on for daddy from the kids. A desktop calendar from Shutterfly with all our favorite photos throughout the year. Daddy loved it and can't wait to put it on his desk to think of us all the time when he's at work so much! Ha!

Daddy picked out this onesie for Kerigan- thanks for the compliment, Craig! :)

I took so many pictures of Andrew posed with his toys, I thought this one of Kerigan was funny! She was so adorable all day. She just took everything in, like she knew something about the day was special.

Ga Ga and Papa came back later that afternoon and we played more games and just hung out. Andrew's favorite game is this Scooby Doo game he got.

This is seriously the best part of the day for me. Just chilling out and relaxing, watching Andrew play with his new things and laying around being lazy! Something I never get to do! Best Christmas ever.

The most special and important part of the day was when we made Jesus' birthday cake, lit the candles and sang happy birthday to Jesus.

Because that is really what the whole day was about. This is something I will do with the kids every year, so they will never lose sight of the real meaning of Christmas.

An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Luke 2: 9-12

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I can't wait to see what 2012 has in store for us!

christmas eve

2011-12-30T09:01:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

The countdown continued on Christmas Eve when we went to my brother and sister in law's house to celebrate with them and my niece and nephew. My nephew has a little girl who is 9 months old.

We could not get Kerigan and Lucy to sit still and both look at the camera at the same time! Ha! This is the best we could do. They both looked so pretty in their Christmas dresses!

Kerigan with my niece Mary who was back from New York for Christmas! We were all thrilled to see her and have her join us for Christmas Eve.

This is Mary with Kerigan and my nephew's wife, Jenny with Lucy. Sweet girls!

Andrew loved Uncle Tim's new drum set!

He just banged on them so hard and thought it was the greatest thing ever! We won't be getting one of these anytime soon! Ha!

Me and my beautiful little girl

Kerigan and Ga Ga

Andrew was cracking me up with this silly toy! Have you seen these sing a majig's? They are hilarious! You push their tummy and they make weird noises

Andrew just laughed and laughed!

He also got a fireman dress up outfit, which he loved! He was pretending to drive the truck!

This was so funny- my neice posted this on Facebook with the heading: Craig's or Andrew's toy? Ha!

I think this is why Kerigan is such a laid back baby. Her brother put the fireman hat on her and she just went with it! Ha!

This position cracked me up! She crashed on daddy's lap- real lady like Kerigan! Ha!

After a wonderful celebration, we headed back to our house to get ready for Santa, and to say goodbye to Buddy the Elf.

When Andrew moved Santa to the "24" he found his reindeer food in the pocket!

Time to go sprinkle it on the lawn!

Doesn't it just look weird to sprinkle reindeer food on the grass, not on the snow? It wasn't quite the same, but Andrew didn't seem to care!

He picked out special cookies to leave for Santa...

And we read "The Night Before Christmas" before bed...

Buddy was right on top of the mantle, waiting for Santa to come down the chimney. Andrew looked up at him and told him goodbye. It was so sweet. I was a little sad to send Buddy back to ~~the basement~~ Santa. It was so fun seeing the mischief he'd get into every night! But he'll be back next year for more fun!

Andrew went right to sleep, talking all about Santa. We looked up in the sky when we sprinkled the reindeer food but didn't see any sign of him yet. He wanted to look up on the roof at the chimney (which is very small!) and asked where the reindeer were going to go (our roof is slanted). I explained that they are magic, and they would pull Santa's sleigh right up on the roof and that the small chimney would get big enough for Santa to fit through. He just looked completely amazed. After he was in bed, I commented to Craig that this was just about the most fun age Andrew has been at Christmastime so far. There is just nothing like seeing the wonder on his face. I love how he doesn't question... he just believes. Children just add so much fun and excitement to the holidays. They are a good reminder for us of what Christmas is all about. I already can't wait til next year!

More to come from Christmas morning!!

christmas countdown begins!

2011-12-27T09:18:00.000-08:00

On Friday we headed to an early Christmas Eve service at church and then to my mom's to get a jump start on the festivities! My mom cooked a delicious meal- chicken noodle soup! The plan was for the adults to open presents after the kids were in bed, and the kids do theirs in the morning. But when Andrew saw all the presents, that plan was quickly thrown out the window! Ha!

My mom's pretty tree. Andrew's favorite thing is the train that goes around it!

Kerigan had fun with her Papa!

She just loves him! (Both our kids do!)

I love these of Andrew laughing... he was cracking up because Kerigan kept grabbing his face!

Ga Ga gave in and let Andrew open a couple of things before bed. He was just going crazy he was so excited.

This was a favorite gift- a Cars 2 storage case with a built in ramp! Perfect for when we travel!

Our little miss is getting ready to crawl!

Andrew gave Papa a new ISU coffee mug!

Aren't you loving these cheesy smiles? This is his new thing when I bust out the camera! Ha! He was eating sugar cookies as a snack before bed!

Daddy and Kerigan didn't last long before they were sound asleep! Ha!

When everyone woke up in the morning, Andrew wasn't letting much time go by before he wanted to dig in to the rest of the presents!

Kerigan was so sweet with her presents- she pulled on the bows and tore some paper! Then promptly put it in her mouth! Ha!

And her big news for Christmas is....she's sitting up! Pretty much independently now.

This worked perfect for pictures!

Andrew was so thrilled with his big present from Ga Ga! The Batcave! He kept yelling it over and over once he saw what it was.

He was so funny, he got so he'd immediately open something and then pose by it and say CHEESE! Ha! I guess he figured out I wanted to take his picture with every gift! Ha!

He loved his Puss n Boots... and I love Kerigan in the background! Ha!

Here she is trying to pull her bottom off the floor! She's going to get it any day now- she's so close!

Blowing raspberries!

This was Kerigan's big gift from Ga Ga and Papa! A jumperoo!

She was even excited about seeing it on the box! This is her favorite toy at day care- she jumps her little heart out! Ga Ga thought she had to have one of her own.

Daddy, get that out of the box so I can start jumping! Ha!

Here she is...happy girl!

We took a break to have a delicious breakfast with Papa's pancakes!

Then more opening... Andrew loves ornaments so much! He has a special tree I have for him in our family room where he can decorate and hang the ornaments himself. He just loves it. He couldn't wait to put Puss n Boots on the tree. In fact, it was the first thing he mentioned when we got home, after all the gifts he opened.

Kerigan and her sweet stocking from Ga Ga

More Batman accessories!

It was a Superhero Christmas at Papa and Ga Ga's! Now we're on to Spiderman (Papa's gifts)!

He is in love with this remote control Spiderman four wheeler!

We had so much fun celebrating with Papa and Ga Ga! We hung out with them all day and just had the best time. That night we got ready for Christmas Eve at my brother's... more to come soon!

christmas catch up

2011-12-25T16:00:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! It's finally time to share the precious photos from our Christmas card that I've been waiting to post. I think this is probably my favorite picture of Kerigan so far...

It was actually taken about a month ago before we went to have pictures taken with Santa at Bass Pro Shops. It just shows her smiley personality and I just think she looks like a little baby doll! I love how her little hands are clasped too. And can I just say, I only got this shot because of the quickness of my camera. She smiled like this one time, for a split second, and my camera caught it. Bless that thing! It was worth every penny!

I had no intention of using any Santa photos on our Christmas card. However, when my daughter was placed in the big guy's lap and immediately grinned like this... an idea for a card started brewing in my mind!

And the finished product... (It's scanned, so not the best quality)

FRONT:

INSIDE:

BACK:

In other news around here... we've had a special couple of days and I want to blog about them soon, but I didn't get this update posted as soon as I would like, and for the sake of keeping things in order I wanted to post it today, since I finally got time to just sit down and do an update.

So some pre-Christmas activities that have occurred in our household the past couple weeks...

My Christmas card shutter display is complete! And I loooooove it!

I think the clothespins added so much, and they were super easy and didn't take much time at all so thought I'd share how I did it...

First, I went to our favorite scrapbook store in town and picked out a combination of paper I liked. I also bought some mini clothespins (the regular sized ones didn't fit behind the shutter as well).

I just measured the width of the clothespins in a few different spots and used a paper cutter to cut it into strips- easy!

Then I measured the length of each one and cut into smaller pieces, the exact size of the clothespin.

I applied mod podge to the clothespin and stuck the paper on, then let it dry for a few minutes.

Then I brushed mod podge over the top for extra shine.

I tied twine around them for a finished look, and attached my cards to the shutter! I love the way it turned out. And I especially love that I can see all the photos of our family and friends, instead of sticking them in a basket where they can't be seen. I also am glad the package I bought came with 2 shutters, because by the time Christmas rolled around, I filled up 2 of them!

More crafting...

The other morning I woke up early with Kerigan and she and I got busy on her very first craft. And no, I don't have a picture of us actually doing it, not only because we were the only ones awake, but because it was extremely messy, stressful, and we both needed a serious bath afterwards! Ha!

This is a craft I used to do with my students when I taught younger grades. When Andrew was born, I wanted to do it for him for his first Christmas (he was 11 months old at the time). Kerigan being 5 months old on her first Christmas, I thought about waiting since she's so little. And yes, it's almost next to impossible to do with a 5 month old, but I was persistent and Kerigan, being the laid back baby that she is, just went with the flow and let her crazy mama go to town! I really wanted them to each have one from their first Christmas. And when I compared the size of their hands, it just made me laugh.

(Andrew's hands)

Kerigan's are actually a tiny bit bigger than his were! And she is 6 months younger than he was! Ha! I thought that was too funny.

We've also been doing some extra baking to give treats to friends, neighbors, teachers, and Andrew's bus driver.

We made the cutest snowman pops to take to Andrew's preschool.

This was something so fun to do together that Andrew could help me with.

He loved putting the faces on!

This just cracks me up because this was a little "behind the scenes" picture I don't usually post, but my mom was taking a ton of pictures and Andrew was acting so silly! This just shows how the project really went (me working hard and trying to get things done, and Andrew goofing off and driving me crazy! Ha!)

The finished product! I've already had questions on Facebook how I made them and how I got the sticks to stay in. I just used oreos and I separated them. I melted almond bark in the microwave and dipped the stick into the almond bark, then gently pressed it in the oreo and then put the top back on. I let it sit for a minute to dry so the stick stayed put when I dipped the rest of the cookie.

Then you just put on wax paper and make the faces and let them harden. So cute! Andrew's little friends loved them!

Our other project was making two more batches of our famous sugar cookies and frosting them all!

I think this was Andrew's favorite thing of all... decorating!

His idea of decorating was dumping the entire container of sprinkles on the cookies! Ha!

We ended up with about five containers full of these to share for Christmas goodies!

Andrew and daddy were hanging out downstairs one night (supposed to be getting ready for bed!) and Kerigan and I were upstairs. I heard them down there chatting and I asked what they were doing. Craig says "We're just having some hot chocolate and a cookie before bed!" Ha! It was so cute. I had to take their picture.

This little sweetie and her family came over to exchange gifts the other night...

Can you tell Andrew was slightly excited to have Lilly over??

She brought Andrew a super cool Cars 2 play mat, which he has played with every single day since!

Lilly was so cute, we got her a Barbie with a baby (since she has a new brother!) and I also gave her a sack full of old Barbie happy meal toys (the ones that my grandma collected for years and has stored in her basement that I invade from time to time for prizes for Andrew!) Lilly loves Barbies, so I figured she'd go nuts over them! This picture cracked me up of her on the couch covered in the wrappers! Ha! She just kept digging them out and ripping them open! I don't think she could believe it!

Alissa also brought over 5 more huge tubs full of Lilly's clothes for Kerigan! Yay! Unfortunately she has almost outgrown all of the other things she brought over when she was first born. I can't believe how much she has grown (she was 17.4 pounds at the doctor the other day- we took her when she had a cold).

I didn't get a picture of all the kids together, but this is Lilly's little brother Jack (he was hungry and mad!)- isn't he so sweet in his little sock monkey outfit? Now why didn't they have this stuff when Andrew was a baby? Ha! He was so precious! I couldn't even believe how much smaller he is than Kerigan, it almost made me miss that newborn stage (and we were just there five months ago! Ha!)

Christmas parties...

Andrew got to bring a "special friend" to preschool on his last day before break to help him make a gingerbread house.

Who do you think he picked? Yep! Ga Ga!

This is pretty much what the afternoon was like... Ga Ga decorating the house... Andrew eating all the candy! Ha!

They had so much fun doing this together. I had emailed his teacher earlier to ask if I could come and take pictures and she had told me there could only be one person per child. I was stressing out with this dilemma (ha!) because I wanted to be there, yet I wanted he and Ga Ga to enjoy doing this together too. My plan was to stay back and let the two of them go, when his sweet teacher emailed me back and said there was another child who didn't have a special helper coming, so I could come and help that child! Yay!

As Craig would say, I finnagled (not sure if that's a word but I use it all the time!) my way into that one!

I was trying to get a decent picture of them and Andrew would not have it! He is being such a stinker lately. If he's not in the mood for pictures- forget it!

Seriously, look at him! Ha! That's real life I guess! No more perfectly posed pictures....!

I've been experimenting with my camera and my Christmas tree lately! I am in love with this setting to get a glowing tree! Don't you hate it when the tree looks so beautiful like this, and all the presents underneath have been so carefully wrapped and decorated, only to rip into them and have it be all over in a matter of seconds?? Ha!

We have had the best little Christmas together, I can't wait to share all about it! But now I am going back downstairs to relax and enjoy my family!

Merry Christmas!

Focus

2011-12-19T21:04:00.000-08:00

*If you are here from Mckmama...my Christmas tree photos are towards the end of this update. And I used the regular nighttime setting on my Canon Rebel, no special lens or anything (I need to take one of Mckmama's classes...but I am still experimenting!) I just edited the photos in iphoto. Welcome!

It's been such a busy holiday season so far. But good busy. I'm definitely finding enough things to do that I can say I'm ready for winter break to begin this week. Lots of last minute shopping, errands and wrapping to do. Plus Kerigan has her first bad cold, so we haven't been getting much sleep at night. She has to sleep propped up in her car seat by our bed to stay elevated and I blast the humidifier on her. Poor thing. Ah, the joys of day care.

But...let me back up.

My handsome little man had two Christmas programs in a row the other week- one at day care and one at church. And bear with me as I get to the point of my story, which is something far more meaningful than the hustle and bustle that is the season.

This year was Andrew's last Christmas program at his day care. Next year at this time he'll be in Kindergarten. Deep breath. Side note... we cannot say enough about this day care. I am seriously in love with it. I joke about the joys of day care, because I hate leaving my kids, not because I hate leaving them at this place. We LOVE this place. It is so special and they treat the kids like family. When we all had the flu the other week, the director offered to take my kids home with her since Craig was busy and I couldn't lift my head off the pillow. That's above and beyond. To say the least. Anyway, the other thing I love is that they are not affiliated with the public schools- so they do holidays! And they do them up big! Dress up for Halloween, homemade treats, Christmas parties. You name it. I will miss this when Andrew joins the real world next year. It is funny, I keep thinking... no more fun stuff, but then I remember we have Kerigan just starting all over again! Ha!

Anyway, Andrew has been in this program since he was 2. And every year is the same. I arrive approximately forty five minutes early to stake out the best seats (front row center, of course!) That is where I get the best view with my cameras. Yes, as in more than one. One video and one regular, if you will.

So, this year in the newsletter they mentioned that doors wouldn't open until 15 minutes before (so the little kids wouldn't have to wait so long before they perform. Oh yeah, I never thought about that! Why would I think of the impact my early arrival would have on Andrew? Ha!) Now, I am not normally a "direction follower." I often deviate from the plan or the rules, and I think nothing of it. Especially if it involves my children. I will always do what is best for them. Or in this case, what was best for me to get a good view. And good pictures, of course.

Bear with me... I'm getting there...

This year I was determined to get front row seats. It was his last program, after all. But I thought maybe I better follow the rules and not get there quite as early. I knew 15 minutes would not be soon enough, but 45 was a little extensive. So I settled for about 25 minutes early. Big mistake.

I get there, and people are already flooding in (those non rule followers!) The first two rows in the center were already taken. I was not happy (to say the least). Here I was, trying to follow the rules, and look what happens (I will never follow the rules again! Ha!) So I kindly ask the ladies in the front row if the seats around them are saved (with their coats, programs and hats spread out all over them). When they replied "yes," I even found myself not being very friendly about it!

When my little man came onstage, the next thing that I was irritated about was...why was he in the back corner? (Ok seriously, let's be honest. We all want our kids in the front, right?) After all, my kid is the cutest one up there! (And no other parent says that, right?) As I am blinding the kids with my flashes (and standing up to try to avoid getting the heads of those ladies in all my pictures, not caring if I was blocking someone else's view) I also start my video camera (yes, I am running both cameras because I am the only one who can do it right). Can you all believe I am that person everyone hates at these things!? Like I said... I'm being honest here. And I promise there's a point...

I had already promised Andrew a prize if he sang (because in the last 3 years he has never sang a note at these things... and he always knows every single word.) As I'm sitting there, snapping pictures and video taping, I'm also now motioning for him to sing... and smile... do anything besides stand there in a daze with a deer-in-headlights look on his precious face. He's so darn cute when he smiles.

And then it hits me... he's not in the front center because he basically just stands there and does absolutely nothing. I'm a teacher. It's no secret why we put kids in the back, or don't give them speaking lines. Does it bother me that my son isn't the little performer I like to dream he could be? A little, yes. I think mostly because I know that he is a performer... to us, but not when a room full of strangers are watching him. He gets shy. He doesn't get that from me (big surprise). I was the kid in the spotlight. The front row center kid- and I loved every minute of it. (Again... Kerigan's coming!!! And she's my mini me! So we still have a chance!)

Andrew just doesn't get into these things. But he'll sing his little heart out when we get home. After it was all over, I was sad. Not because he was in the back row, or we didn't have the best seats, or that my son is not the star of the show. But sad because it was over. And I really didn't enjoy it. How could I when I was worried about so many things that really didn't matter. I realized I never even took the video camera off Andrew for one second, and I barely got any pictures of all his little friends singing (which maybe he would have enjoyed seeing). I was way too worried about getting the best pictures, or the best seats, instead of just being in the moment. Enjoying watching my son's program. Giggling about the silly things kids do, or oohing and aahing over the little girls pretty dresses. I hardly saw any of it.

I was too busy.

Too focused on the things that don't matter.

And all I have to show for it are a few pictures and a video of Andrew standing and staring. (I'm exaggerating here... he did sing, a little bit!) But not much.

Andrew's favorite part of the night was when Ga Ga and Papa took us out for pancakes afterwards.

Fast forward to Sunday.

The church program. (I know this is blurry, but they were all clasping their hands to pretend to "sleep" and I thought Andrew looked adorable.) What...you can't find him? It's because he is not in the front again (this time it was he who put himself in this spot.) There are so many kids that they all just stood wherever. So had he wanted to, he could have pushed his way to the front. But that's just not Andrew. (He's towards the left in the green sweater behind the two adorable little twin girls. In the front.)

I tried to have a different attitude this time. (It was church, after all.)

First of all, the older kids had the speaking parts and were in this adorable little skit, that actually taught me way more than I expected. The preschoolers were just singing three songs and they sat in front and watched the skit almost the whole time. I knew I didn't need a front row seat for this (and let's face it... who sits in the front row at church anyway?)

(See...he's singing!)

But the part of the skit that got me was the "mom" (played by a fourth grader) reminded me exactly of myself. She had a list a mile long of things to do for the holidays... baking, wrapping, shopping, decorating, etc... People kept coming to the door to help the family with things (like a tree and presents, etc) because they were too busy to get it all done.

Then the best gift arrived.

(The tag says "To: The World, From: GOD).

Enough said.

When these pretty little angels popped out of the present and held up the baby Jesus... yeah, I had tears. It hit me then.

And I was so mad at myself. Mad at how I had been so unfocused on the things that really matter. The true meaning of Christmas. The reason we do all of the things we do this time of year. Where I tried to get things done early this year so I didn't have to rush through the season, so I could sit back and enjoy it... I still lost my way. Sure, I know the reason we celebrate. I have taught Andrew about giving, about it being Jesus' birthday, and that presents are not important (and this is exhausting trying to tell that to a four year old who dreams of Santa and presents pretty much every single night). We have purchased items for a family in need through his day care and we've baked goodies and taken them to the neighbor who lost her husband last year. We get it. We really do.

But sometimes we still need to be reminded.

You see, this is truly all we need.

It's our gift from God. It's his life. Given for us. What more do we need?

All the kids got this sweet little box after their program (along with cupcakes they got to decorate and eat). And I was choked up the entire rest of the day just thinking about how silly I have behaved.

Seriously? Do I really need front row seats? Do I really need a million pictures of my kid in a Christmas program? What about the memories? I don't remember hardly any of it. My husband always tells me to put my camera away and just enjoy things. And I always just ignore him and snap away...

How can I not when I do have the cutest kids on the planet?

Seriously?

I just think now I understand where he's coming from. He is a pretty smart guy, after all.

There's a time to put the camera away...

A time to just sit back and "zoom in" on the wonder, and the beauty, and the one true gift...

"Dear Jesus...please help my mommy to teach me about You. To guide our family to the true meaning of Christmas every year and to live for You every day."

Because that is all I really want my kids to remember about Christmas.

The only gift that is under our tree.

Yes, there will be presents. Santa will come and the wonder on Andrew's face will fill me with joy. But I will remember that the joy comes from God. And when we blow out the candles on Jesus' birthday cake...

Maybe I'll put my camera away.

All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children.

Isaiah 54:13

Little Miss {five months}

2011-12-12T19:36:00.000-08:00

My sweet Kerigan... you are FIVE months old today! I cannot believe that next month you will be a half a year old. It just doesn't seem possible. You have blessed our lives with so much joy. We can't even remember life without you ~ it's like you've always been here. Been a part of us. Now you are just here for us to enjoy you! God always had you in His plans. And I'm so grateful you are ours.

You were laughing at your brother here. Something you do ALL the time. He is always entertaining you, but you giggle and laugh and smile at just about anybody. Everywhere you go people comment on your smile and how friendly you are. The other day we were in line at Target and I never even noticed you flirting with a man behind us. He was so funny, he said "I've still got it!" I laughed, but I didn't have the heart to tell him you do that to everybody! Ha!

You were insisting on looking at your brother during our photo shoot and he insisted on getting up here with you. So here you are! Two peas in a pod. I'm sure you're already plotting things you are going to trick me with someday! Watching the two of you together is one of my very favorite things to do. There is so much love. Andrew calls you "baby dolly" and that is just what you are.

I am so glad the two of you have each other.

Your personality just shines. You are the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. That face- the cheeks, the smile, the big blue eyes... I can hardly stand how much I love you sometimes! You are and always will be my dream come true.

You "talk" all the time (big surprise! You are my daughter! Ha!) It is so funny when we are out places because you will just go to town with those funny noises. You love it when we talk back to you. It just gets you going even more!

You blow raspberries. Lots of them. And drool and spit fly everywhere! You just keep going and going, and you are too funny.

Your hair is getting longer and thicker. I love it! A bow will stay in pretty well by itself now. And you know I can't get enough bows!

Your favorite time of day is your bath. You kick your legs and grin so big when we take you in the bathroom. I now just lay you in the bottom of the tub with shallow water so you can stretch out and kick your legs and splash. You were outgrowing your baby tub anyway. You wanted to be in the water! I love giving you baths because they always make you laugh and smile.

You are getting so strong. You push way up on your arms now as far as you can go. You will bring your legs in like you know what you are supposed to do, but can't quite get it yet. I know you'll figure it out soon, and then...watch out world! We can already tell you want to move. You sit up by yourself after we feed you, you just lean forward with no effort at all. Now we just need to work on your balance and soon you'll be sitting up all by yourself.

We don't have your height and weight this month because we haven't had a check up, but I am guessing you are a little over 16 pounds. You were 15.5 at your 4 month check. You are still going through clothes so fast I can't keep up. You are eating 6oz every 3 hours like a champ, and you are enjoying your cereal too. Soon we are going to add in some baby food. I'm sure you're going to love that!

You love to do "big girl." This is what my mom and dad used to do with me. You take our hands, start out on your back and we pull you up to stand while saying "BIG GIRL!!!!" You just love it. You smile and act so "tough!" You just want to be independent and do these things on your own. You are learning so much every day.

One of your many nicknames is "bright eyes." Because that's what you are. You are just bright, smiley and happy all the time my sweet girl. You just light up the room. We love you to pieces and couldn't be more proud of you! You have made us the family that we are, like the missing piece of a puzzle that is now complete. We love you more than words can express.... to the moon and back!

a whole lotta christmas!

2011-12-10T19:13:00.000-08:00

We have been having so much fun getting in the spirit of Christmas around here! I am so thankful that I got a jump start on decorating, because I've been able to focus my time on other things, like baking with my boy, and doing fun things on weekends with the kids.

One of our traditions is to bake my great grandma's sugar cookies. They are the best in the world. We usually make four batches of them and freeze them so we have some left after Christmas! We only had time for 2 batches this weekend, so we'll have to make more soon!

Andrew loved helping this year more than he ever has. He stayed with me the whole time and put everything in the bowl for me and stirred and mixed things. His favorite part was using the mixer. He discovered that when you turn the knob on the side, it speeds up and he loved watching it and giggling! It was all fun and games until he pulled the knob and flour flew everywhere! He thought it was hilarious though. That, and he basically cracked an egg by smashing it in his fist. Nice.

We'll see how they turn out! Maybe we won't share any this year? Ha! While the dough was chilling, we took the kids to see a special event that was going on in town.

They had live reindeer! Andrew would not go over to that reindeer. I was completely shocked because he is not scared of anything. Literally, nothing. But I had to bribe him (the elf went to give him candy and I told her no! Ha! Not until he stood by the reindeer!) Mean, aren't I? Ha!

So he reluctantly obliged. But seriously? I think it was that he was just in awe of this whole Christmas thing. It is so magical to him this year. I am enjoying watching the wonder on his face when Santa is spoken of, or when the "Elf" finds a new spot every day and he is giddy with excitement. There is just nothing better than the innocence of children.

So, the reindeer freaks him out, but he's more than happy to stand by this scary looking Grinch?

Santa was inside, along with Mrs. Claus and lots of cookies! Kerigan is just as delightful to be with right now. She even loves Santa (just wait till you see our Christmas card picture!) Everyone was having a fit about her and how smiley she was.

I'm not kidding you, she is like this all the time. She smiles at everybody, it is so adorable. This sweet little dress I found before she was born on a clearance rack at Crazy 8. It was $3. I had to buy it and hope she could wear it at Christmas (it is 3-6 month). Well, I had to get some good out of it now, because I don't think she'll be fitting into it much longer. The sleeves pretty much cut off her circulation and she looked like she was going to pop! But it was adorable anyway! I was determined to get some good out of it!

Look who we spotted on the way out!

When we got home, Andrew helped me roll and cut out the cookies. Again, he was totally into this.

This is so special to me because every generation has made these cookies together. My great great grandma and my grandma, my grandma and my mom, and my mom and me have all made these cookies together over the years. I want Andrew and Kerigan to remember making these with me someday.

Sweet little helping hands...

The best part is eating them! Andrew couldn't even wait until we frosted them! That is another project for another weekend!

We had hot chocolate and marshmallows with our cookie.

One of Andrew's very favorite things to do this season (besides look for the Elf every morning), is to move Santa on our advent calendar. I just love our calendar- it was given to us as a gift a couple years ago (from Pottery Barn Kids) and it is just perfect for what I want it for. There are pockets for us to write special things to do each day. This year I plan to just fill up the week before Christmas, but maybe some year I'll get brave and do every day. I know Andrew is going to look even more forward to seeing what we get to do when we read the activity for the evening. We'll add things like driving around to see the lights, drinking hot chocolate, playing a game, play in the snow, etc. So fun!

This is melt.my.heart sweet!

The advent calendar didn't have anything to put in each pocket to move day to day, so I had to think of something to use. I went to the basement and dug out my old Christmas treasures from when I was a little girl and found this little Santa. He was perfect. Andrew loves him. He'll say, "We forgot to move Santa!" (usually this is in a rush on the way out the door to day care in the mornings when we're running late), so he'll say "We'll have to move Santa to number eight when we get home." It's so funny. He remembers what number he is on every day, and he'll count the number left until Santa comes.

It's been so nice to be able to relax and enjoy the season this year with the kids. Being home together on the weekends has been so fun, just enjoying our Christmas tree and doing some shopping, wrapping and baking and other projects. I love this time of year more than anything. I never want it to be over. But I guess the good part is... it always comes again next year!

Is it bad to want to leave my Christmas stuff up until then? Ha!

polar express!

2011-12-07T11:13:00.000-08:00

We had such a fun weekend last weekend before the great flu outbreak of 2011 hit our house!! I don't usually share much on this blog regarding when our family is sick (because I do like to focus on the positive and fun things we do!) But I want to remember a couple of things our boy said because he is just such a sweet little man. Sunday night Andrew got sick and was up all night. Craig ended up getting sick about 4 hours after Andrew did so I closed him in our bedroom and stayed up late at the computer going back and forth between checking on Andrew and Kerigan (she managed to stay healthy through all of this. A true miracle).

Andrew was waking so frequently to get sick, he was just exhausted. I thought it might make him feel better to know that daddy was sick too, so I told him. His little lip quivered and he started to cry. I asked him what was wrong and he said "I don't want daddy to be sick!" It was the sweetest thing ever. Here he is in the midst of throwing up, and he is worried about his daddy. What a kid. Then when it hit me the next day, I stayed home from school and my mom picked the kids up. I came out of the bedroom to see him and he looked up at me with these big eyes and said "Are you okay?" It just melted my heart. My mom said he was worried about me and was asking about his mama. That boy just makes my heart smile. He has so much empathy for others.

Ok, enough of that! The sickie bug is finally gone, so let's move on!

On Friday night Craig and I had a surprise for Andrew. We decided it might be fun to surprise him and not tell him what we were doing. We have never really done that before. So that morning I told him when we picked him up we were going somewhere special. He was so excited and kept asking where we were going.

When we got closer to our destination, I gave him a hint that he gets to put his jammies on! He loved this! I also showed him the book I brought along, "The Polar Express." He still didn't guess where we were going. But when we pulled into the train station, he just was in awe.

I don't think he knew what to think! Ha! He was acting so silly and jumping around. He said "Are we gonna ride that train?" It was so cute. Even more special, Ga Ga took Kerigan to her house so we could give Andrew all of our attention. We feel like that is so important for him sometimes, and he enjoys it too.

He loves tickets. To anything. He likes to play with them!

As luck would have it, Andrew came home with Elvis the Elephant, his preschool pet. It was his turn to take Elvis on an adventure! Funny how that worked out! Elvis had quite a trip!

And another great surprise was that his friend Norah and her family were joining us! He couldn't have been happier!

Isn't the train decorated so pretty? Last year we rode in the day time, but this year we thought we'd try it at night. It feels more "magical" at night somehow.

The kids could see out the windows because a lot of things were lit up (houses, and along the tracks they had little lights and signs along the way).

He just enjoyed every single minute.

Craig did too. Ha!

My favorite part is when they get hot chocolate and cookies, just like in the book/movie. And the cookies are delicious!

Having a very serious conversation with daddy.

Hot chocolate mustache and a kiss for daddy!

Little stinker will sit perfectly and smile for a picture with daddy, but when it comes to sitting with me...not so much! Ha!

Another special part... Santa comes to deliver a bell to each child.

You can see the happiness in Andrew's face here hugging Santa.

Showing off his bell

Two of the sweetest kids I know...

Leaving the North Pole

On the way back, all the kids went to the front and sang Christmas carols. Andrew in this picture just makes me laugh. That's our Andrew! Ha!

Time to end our special train ride...

But I bet we'll be back again next year!!

my little man

2011-12-04T18:08:00.000-08:00

I do so many updates on my little miss for her monthly milestones, I thought it was about time for an update on my little man... my almost FIVE year old! This is his school picture this year. I just love it. Everything except for the fact that he looks... well. FIVE. He looks so big to me, I just can't get over it.

Here is another one of the poses

This is his little class at his day care preschool. We just love his teacher Missey, and his other teacher at his afternoon preschool too. Both of them have taught him so much, and he has grown so much just in the past year.

We had his fall conference a couple of weeks ago. It was so fun to see the changes and how much he's grown. His teacher said he is right on track for Kindergarten! We were so relieved and happy to hear that news!

When I compare all these drawings of himself over the past year, I can't believe it. The first one, scribbling basically. To the last one. He decided not to draw just himself, but mommy and daddy too. I think we look fabulous, don't you? Look at my hair! Ha! And I am not sure what happened, but somehow he forgot about his sister! Ha!

Writing his name has been challenging for him to learn. He's been working on it for quite a while now. We help him at home, and he also does it daily at school. I think he's come a long way from the left (bottom in pink letters) he had to do with no boxes or sample. The one on the right shows his no boxes and no sample- independent writing. We are still working on connecting the "A" at the top. He also knows most of his letters. The ones he doesn't, we have posted around the house and I make him say them every time he walks by! Ha!

We really need to start working on lowercase letters next! Those will soon be posted around the house, as soon as he has all the capital ones. We've been playing matching games and he's doing really well.

This was an example from his journaling page. So cute! I like how he tried to draw his Mr. Incredible mask from his costume! Ha!

I thought this was pretty good- he drew these shapes with no help and not looking at a model! I think it is funny he can connect his triangle at the top, but not his "A"! Silly boy.

His teacher, Miss Erin, is so amazing, she makes these wonderful portfolios for all the kids and keeps adding to it each year (this is his third year in her class).

She puts so much time and effort into them, and even takes pictures so we can see what Andrew does in her class! So fun.

Speaking of preserving memories... I ordered and received my first Christmas present to myself the other day!

My second blog book! Now I am all caught up- up until we announced our pregnancy with Kerigan. I figure my next book can include her and my pregnancy updates.

I use Blog2print. I have seen several others, but this is my favorite one. It is very low maintenance. I have heard of others taking lots of time to perfect theirs and place their own pictures, even download them again so the resolution turns out. For me, I do absolutely nothing to mine. I just upload it, and this is how it comes out. The pictures are great quality. I just love that all the time and effort I put into the blog has a finished product.

This is why I do what I do! We loved getting it back and reading about our Disney trip last year! I haven't had time to scrapbook it yet, but this is the journal of our whole trip- all in one place with every story, photo and memory we loved. What a perfect keepsake. If you are looking for a Christmas present, they have gift cards! Tell your husbands this is what you want! Ha! (The price is not too bad- I wait for 15% off sales. I also pay a little more to have my layout stay the same, otherwise my captions don't make sense. I figure by the time I'd buy a scrapbook, paper, stickers and all the scrapbook accessories, plus print off all my photos, the price is comparable, probably even better).

Anyway, back to the little man...of course I have a few funnies to add to his list...

The other morning we were getting ready to go somewhere and I said, "Andrew, do you want to change your clothes?" and he said "No... Sorry!" Ha! (I quickly learned that I shouldn't have asked!)

I was driving him and Kerigan home from the store the other day and Kerigan was crying because she was ready to eat. He was talking to me about her being sad and I was explaining she needed a bottle. He said "I'm not gonna drink her bottle... that would make me DIE!!!!!!"

The other day I was getting ~~annoyed~~ frustrated with him because he was being loud when Kerigan was sleeping. He was breaking his train tracks and then expecting me to fix them! He got mad at me and went downstairs (I was at the computer). Pretty soon he comes back up and came over to me with his smiley face mouth from his Mr. Potato Head. He handed me the smiley mouth and said "You're sposed to be like this!" Ha! It was so stinkin funny I couldn't help but laugh and just hug him!

His new thing is saying "oh!" all the time. Like when he asks us a question and we answer him he'll say... "Oh!" Like oh, I get it now! It is pretty funny. He said it the other day even when I explained why he couldn't have a snack (because it was almost dinner time). "Oh!" he said so matter of factly. He's darn funny.

Lately, he and I have been having all kinds of conversations about Buddy, his Elf. It is so fun to watch the amazement on his face when Buddy is in a different place each morning. The first time he arrived (Thanksgiving night), when we came home from our weekend out of town, Andrew found the book Buddy left for him and found him up on our shelf. He didn't take his eyes off him the whole night. The book explains that you can tell Buddy to give messages to Santa about what you'd like for Christmas. And every once in a while I catch him walking up to him and whispering his wishes! It is so cute!

I've had to get more creative because of so many fun ideas I've seen on Facebook and Pinterest. So one night Buddy built a snow fort!

He's gotten into our candy dish and played with Andrew's cars he left out one night! Andrew loves his little antics and can't wait to see what he does each night while he's asleep. The only problem is now... there's still 20 more nights I have to think of something creative! Ha! It is just so fun to have a real believer in the house and watch his face light up with every new and exciting thing about Christmas. It is just such a magical time for kids.

And speaking of Pinterest... oh my. I think it's safe to say I'm addicted. And it is seriously such a time waster! But there are so many fun ideas, I just get so inspired to do everything! I've been trying hard to pin only things I that I will have time to do and are reasonable. I finally made a snack tub, which has been so nice! Andrew is allowed one in the morning (if we are home) and one after school or in the afternoon. He knows the rule and he can go pick his own. It is really nice if I'm feeding Kerigan or can't get him one right then. It is also nice having them already portioned out so I don't have to pour them in a bowl each time. Love it!

Another favorite idea is getting a shutter for Christmas cards. This is my work in progress. I really wanted to find an old beat up, wooden one to paint, but I wasn't sure how or where to go for it, so I found this one at Menards- already painted! That's my idea of saving time and work! Ha!

Now I just need to paint and decorate my clothespins to clip the cards to! I can't wait to see how it's going to turn out!

I keep getting on tangents... so my little man...

I can tell how grown up he is because he is starting to do more of this kind of thing...

He dug all this stuff out this afternoon and I thought, oh no. Big mess coming my way! But it entertained him for a good hour.

The whole time he worked independently and I put away laundry and cleaned the whole bathroom! Now I'd call that productive! Ha!

Andrew, you are getting to be such a big boy. Daddy and I can't believe you will be five in a couple of months. You are growing up so fast and we are so proud of you!

Christmas celebrations underway!

2011-11-30T17:29:00.000-08:00

On Friday after Thanksgiving, we headed out to pick up Andrew at Ga Ga's and drive to Craig's parents for an early Christmas!

When I was growing up as an only child...this was what I envisioned Christmas looking like. So many family members, kids and tons of presents to open! This is what the Huegel family Christmas looks like! I always knew I'd marry a man from a big family! Ha! It is so fun and there is never a dull moment.

I think Andrew's shirt is a misprint!

Andrew and Kerigan with their presents

I love this- cousin Brooke admiring Kerigan, and Auntie Darlene

This is blurry because I was laughing so hard. But everyone else got these nicely wrapped presents with colored paper and bows... this was Craig's present! (And don't you love the Elf in the background?? Ha!) I just think this is so funny. We do a gift exchange with Craig's siblings and his younger brother got his name. I think one time he had my name he wrapped my present in a diaper box! Ha! At least the gift inside was nice! :)

The Huegel side of the family is growing... but these remain the only 3 boy cousins (out of 7, soon to be 8 grandkids). They all got matching jammies from grandma. Craig's sister is having a girl at the end of January! All the cousins are so close in age and they all love each other so much and love playing together. Andrew was so sad when it was bedtime he insisted on sleeping with Evie and Jayden! Ha!

We had tons of good food and munchies... all the kids snacked before bed!

The next morning we woke up and got in our Christmas outfits for pictures and Craig's mom's side of the family had a huge Christmas celebration! It is next to impossible to get a picture of this many kids looking at the camera. This was the best we could do! But they sure are cute!

And if that wasn't hard enough, we decided to try the whole family in one! Talk about impossible! This was the best one with my camera, but there were about 16 cameras (not really)... but I think we got a good one on someone else's camera!

Much easier... just Grandpa and sweet granddaughter.

We all got together at a large hall so we could fit my mother in law's 9 brothers and sisters and all their families in one room! Talk about tons of food and family fun! Andrew was so darn sweet this day. He is getting so good at puzzles lately. He was just engrossed in this (when all the other kids were playing with play doh!) He was so focused. He'd look carefully at the box, then find the piece. Aunt Joan helped him a little, but not very much!

I was so proud of his determination. He normally would have given up, but he just kept at it until it was all done. I learned later that his cousin Evie had wanted him to put it together for her, so when he was done he ran and got her and she came running to look and said "Good job, Andrew!" and gave him a big hug. I could have cried it was so sweet.

These two are 4 days apart in age. And the love is so amazing! Andrew just adores her (and all his cousins).

After the Christmas, we added one more thing on the agenda for the evening! A baby shower for Craig's sister! Bring on more pink!

I decorated the tables with baby clothes wrapped in ribbon and headbands and bows! What else?? Ha!

All of my wonderful sisters in law! Love them! (Craig's sister in the middle...the rest of us are married to the brothers!) So happy to be part of a big family and get the sisters I always wanted!

Back at grandmas on Sunday morning, more puzzles!

So sweet... Andrew looked up at me and said "no more pictures!" It was so funny! He was trying to concentrate and I was bugging him! Ha!

This is what we did most of the time, and I just love this. Everyone just hanging out, doing puzzles, chatting, snacking and being together. This is what I always dreamed it would be like having a big family. And it is just how I pictured it. And I love it.

We had an awesome first Christmas. I can't believe how fast the season is going already and it isn't even December yet! But my plans are working out... by starting early, we have the decorations up, the outside lights up, one celebration behind us... now I'm ready to bake and shop and wrap my heart out! It feels so good to get things crossed off the list!

(And yes, I make sure I check it twice!)

Thanks for a great weekend Mom and Dad Huegel!

Thanksgiving Day

2011-11-28T19:09:00.000-08:00

We've had such a busy weekend! The break was so nice (even though I just went back to work... I was ready for a break! Ha!) School was out on Wednesday, so I had 3 days off and I loved every minute of it. I kept the kids home from day care on Wednesday and we just hung out in our jammies and got some baking and wrapping done for our weekend.

On Thursday we went to my grandma's to celebrate Thanksgiving.

Our smiley girl enjoyed her first Thanksgiving... but I think she wanted to eat with the rest of us! Ha!

She loves her Grandma Tootie!

Our day consisted of a lot of this... playing games with cousins,

Eating treats...

Naps...

And opening our first present of the season- our annual ornaments from my grandma. Every year she gives all the grandkids ornaments. Kerigan got her first one- a lamb.

Andrew was excited about his too! Woody and Buzz in a stocking. He couldn't wait to get it home to hang it on the tree and add to his collection.

My cousins, Kendra and Kelsie, holding Kerigan. They both kept wanting to hold her! I wish they lived closer because they would be great babysitters!

It's funny... I always take pictures of the "kids" but really, I belong in this picture, because I am the oldest grandchild! My cousins were born much later (Kolton and I are 25 years apart!) but it just seems more like the kids are Andrew and Kerigan's first cousins since they are closer in age! Andrew just loves them so much and loves to see them.

Craig carved the turkey and we had all the trimmings. It was a delicious meal!

The best family picture we could get. Andrew is such a stinker for pictures!

Andrew headed back with Ga Ga and Papa to spend the night (he said "only just Ga Ga, Papa and me, you go back home!" Ha!) So Craig and I took the princess back home and I started baking for our next gathering. On Friday we headed to Craig's parents for an early Christmas celebration! More to come soon...

Happy Thanksgiving!

reflecting with thanks

2011-11-24T07:11:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I've had my Christmas decorations up for weeks now. The shopping and wrapping is almost done, and the baking is going to be done in a few days (and frozen for Christmas!) It's no secret that visions of sugarplums are dancing in our heads... (well, mine and Andrew's anyway!)

But I certainly can't forget about today. Sure, I consider myself thankful every single day throughout the year. So why should today be any different?

For me, today is just a day to be reminded. To remind myself of the blessings in my life, and reflect on the things I am continually thankful for. Bring them into the light, if you will.

As I began reflecting on what I was thankful for, I quickly realized that the things that I am thankful for aren't things. Sure I'm thankful I have a roof over my head and food on the table, but what I'm really thankful for are people. People who I could not go through this life without...

God~
I'm grateful for God most of all. Because it is Him, after all, who gave me these special people.
"We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:19

My Husband~
There are many times a day that I think I would be so lost without him. His job is so demanding that many nights the kids and I are alone, and also some weekends. It is these times that I think to myself, how do single parents do it? (But then in the same breath I say I feel like one sometimes! Ha!) But the way he makes up for being gone so much when we are all together is amazing. He genuinely enjoys playing a game with Andrew, or holding Kerigan while she naps. He plays "Mr. Mom" and gives me a break so I can go to Target alone, or sleep in on the weekends. He truly would do anything for any one of us, and we all know it. He is the very best daddy, and I am certain my kids would agree!

I am thankful for him not only because is a great father to our children and helps me immensely when it comes to taking care of them, but he is also my best friend. The one I want to talk to when we both get home from work. The one I miss when we are apart. The one I love just hanging out with and doing simple things like watching our shows and eating treats, or laughing about something the kids are doing. He's the best companion I could ever have hoped for.

I am so thankful for this day...

Thankful that God brought us together, and has kept us together through many ups and downs.

(one of my favorite pics from our honeymoon in Hawaii, overlooking the ocean. I'll never forget this night.)

My children~

Oh my precious angels sent from above- where would the joy in my life be if it weren't for them? It's no secret on this blog that neither of my children came easy for me. Years of infertility treatments, painful injections, and drugs that did crazy things to my body... Yes, I did this twice! And it was more than worth every.single.minute. Many times I look at the kids and just think, how did they even get here? How were we this blessed? Is this really my life or just a perfect dream? These precious little people were not here one day, and then one day they were. I just don't see any other reason for it than the love of God. He knew my heart and my longing to be a mother. And He gave that to me. And I'm oh so thankful.

I'm also thankful that he gave me the honor of being a mommy to a very special little boy with a very special heart.

How can I not be thankful for this? My precious little boy's heart fully repaired. He's alive. And he's as spunky as ever!

And that is just a miracle all in itself.

And my beautiful daughter. She is my dream come true. The little person I wanted for as long as I can remember. My little real-life dolly! It is as if I prayed for this perfect little girl, with a perfect heart and smiley personality...and God just dropped her right out of the sky and into my life.

I'm so glad He did.

My mom & dad~

Craig and I attended date night at our church last weekend. The topic was family origin, and we were supposed to make connections with our past and how it affects our marriage and lives today. It was quite interesting. But the thing that really struck me was when we were asked to do a visualization technique. We were supposed to picture our house growing up, and our bedroom. Posters on the wall, everything. (Yes, I was picturing my New Kids on the Block comforter and posters! Ha!) Anyway, we were supposed to think of the people who meant the most to us during that time in our lives, and write positive and negative attributes of those people. The only people I pictured were my parents. And the only attributes that came to mind were, loving, caring, giving, generous, thoughtful, funny, and making me feel important. I could not think of a single negative attribute of either one of my parents. There isn't one. Sure, no one is perfect. But they were (and are) perfect in my eyes. They gave me a childhood full of wonderful memories and special moments that I will never forget. But most of all, they gave me love. Never a day went by that I didn't know I was loved, and that my parents were proud of who I was. They told me. Every single day. Thankful doesn't even begin to describe it.

And while my dad is no longer with me on this Earth, not a day goes by I don't think of him, and smile when I see my children because I know that he is watching me be their mother. And I know he's proud.

(One of my favorite pictures of dad and me, at an ISU football game)

I am so thankful for the relationship my mom and I have. My mom just emulates beauty, both inside and out. There has never been a moment in my life that she wasn't there for me. And I think that is pretty amazing. It is so incredible for me to see her be a grandmother to my children. I'm pretty sure we couldn't make it without her! Her help is so appreciated. She is everything to me.

Thankful just doesn't seem like the right word to describe my feelings on this day. I'm so beyond thankful that there just aren't any words that exist that could ever explain it.

That my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!

Psalm 30:12

And someone is looking forward to the arrival of a certain Elf tonight...

Happy Thanksgiving!

thanksgiving feast

2011-11-22T19:53:00.000-08:00

ALL DONE!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Little Miss {four months}

2011-11-15T18:11:00.000-08:00

Little girl, how are you FOUR months old already?? It seems like just yesterday we brought you home from the hospital and you would cuddle up to us and sleep all day! It's amazing what a difference four months makes! You are awake so much more now, and you are so alert, happy and talk all the time! You have changed a lot this month!

You went to the doctor today and you weigh 15.5 lbs! You are in the 82% for weight. You are 26 in. long, which is the 95%! Wow! You are tall, girlie! No wonder why your pants are all too short and your feet are pushing our of those sleepers! You are wearing 6-9 month clothes already! You can still fit into 3-6 month things, but most of the pants are too short. Your doctor says you can start trying cereal and some baby foods now! I can't wait to try them with you! I have a feeling you are going to like eating!

You are talking so much now! You look up at me with this huge grin and you'll just start making adorable noises while looking right at me. I know you are talking to me! You love it when I talk back to you and smile at you. We have nice long conversations, you and me! You also love it when Andrew looks at you and you will talk to him and smile so big! He loves it!

You are just a little diva. Everyone teases mommy because they say you are never without a bow in your hair! Ha! I suppose that's true. But I just dreamed for so long of dressing up a little girl, I just can't help it!

I mean seriously? Look how stinkin cute you are! You have the most adorable clothes (most of them given to you by your "big sister" Lilly) and the bows just complete the outfits! They just don't look the same without one! Ha! People can't believe that you don't pull them off, and you don't... yet! I am starting you early so you'll always wear a bow in your hair! (I can dream, right?)

You are practicing sitting up already! You can do it pretty well sitting in the boppy and your bumbo chair. I love the picture on the right, you are just chillin'!

Little girl, you rolled over on October 21 (I took this right after you did it for the first time)! You are so funny because for almost the whole month you would stay on your tummy for a while, but then you'd get mad because you couldn't get back over! But you surprised us the other day and just rolled back over from your tummy to your back (November 11)! You wanted it to be included in this update I think, since it was one day before you were 4 months old! You also scoot all over the place. I'll put you in one spot and I'll come back and you'll be clear across the floor!

So, you can see that you are winning this paci vs. fingers war! Ha! You much prefer to suck on your fingers, which I have to admit I do think is pretty cute! That is, until someday when I'm sure you will touch something gross and then do it! You will still take a paci to fall asleep though. When you are tired I just give you the paci and rub your little bunny blankie by your face. It works every time. You don't stay asleep in your crib for very long naps though. Usually after a half hour you are done but you will go right back to sleep if I hold you. Stinker! Before mommy went back to work, sometimes when brother was at school I would pull you in bed with me and we both took a nap! I love nothing more little girl! Snuggling with you is my favorite pasttime! You used to sleep so great in your swing, but those days are over because you already try to arch your back and get out of it! You want to be a big girl!

You are sleeping so much better at night! Your schedule during the day is still crazy (but getting better with day care) but you usually drink your last bottle about the same time every night, between 9pm and 10pm. Then you are usually awake for a while wanting to "play" and talk to daddy and me while we are trying to watch our shows! Ha! Gone are the days where you would cuddle up to us and sleep for hours while we watched shows! Anyway, you will usually fall asleep by 10 or 10:30 and we hold you for a little while and then put you in your crib. You almost always sleep until 6:00. Once in a while I hear you stirring on the monitor around 3 or 4 so I go in and put your paci in, then you drift back to sleep.

You love your new excersaucer. You will just look at everything and try to grab at things. You like to sit up in the Bumbo chair, or just be on your activity gym. I always put you on your back, but you always end up on your tummy! You can reach your head up much higher now and stay on your tummy for longer. You are starting to figure out how to push up on your arms. You can sit up for short periods of time in the boppy. You sit forward any time we lay you back on something (car seat, bouncy, swing). Your little head comes forward like you just want to be independent and sit up by yourself!

Sweet girl, it has been a hard transition with mommy going back to work and leaving you at day care. Even though you are doing great and all the girls love you, my heart breaks every time I leave you and we are apart all day. I am terrified that you will think I deserted you. Thank goodness big brother is there so you have a familiar face when he comes to see you in your room. Your day care teachers tell me every day how smiley and adorable you are. They also tell me you are way ahead of lots of the babies in there because you do tummy time so well and roll over! I am so proud of you!

But I do long for those days we used to sleep in and snuggle during your nap times. I miss our special days of shopping together, or just sitting with you on the floor and looking into your eyes and watching you smile. I miss you baby girl! Of course we are still together in the evenings and weekends. But it's just not the same.

Sometimes I feel so guilty, because your brother got to stay home with me when he was a baby like you. But then I have to stop and thank God, because you are healthy. You are able to go to day care. You are hitting your milestones and don't need all the therapies that Andrew did. You don't have appointments with cardiologists and audiologists and geneticists... you don't need synagis shots every month to protect you from RSV. You don't have a home health nurse and I never have to worry about you turning blue. I am so grateful for all of these things. But I am also sad to leave you because you are my last baby. My precious daughter that I have dreamed about my whole life. I feel cheated out of time with you. I just want to soak in this time because I know that someday soon, you will be begging me to paint your nails and have tea parties and play dress up and wanting to play with your friends and you will not be my sweet baby anymore.

But ya know what girlie? You will always be my baby. Forever. And I will always love you... to the moon and back!

family photo shoot

2011-11-11T18:55:00.000-08:00

My sweet girl is FOUR months old tomorrow! I have her post all ready to go, but I am going to wait until I have her stats from her appointment on Tuesday to post the update! So instead today I thought I would share our photo shoot from a couple of weeks ago- we finally got the pictures back. This was Kerigan's 3 month photo shoot and Andrew's five year (even though he's not quite five yet!) :) Mainly I just wanted to get some professional pictures of my sweet girl in her special tutu!

I got what I wanted... ya think? That smile is a killer! Man I love that girl! She is full of personality already and I could just eat her up she's so precious!

Love this one... those eyes! Captivating!

Seriously? Pure cuteness!

Got this one in a huge frame in her room! LOVE! The baby toes...

She's so stinkin cute at tummy time.

My loves...

We had quite a time with Andrew (as usual!) And he always looks so adorable and innocent in the pictures... but don't be fooled! Ha! He was stinkin naughty! This is the only family one that turned out decent! And I'm shocked we're actually all looking at the camera!

Handsome boys. And yes, Andrew is his mini me! Scary, isn't it?

Maybe you can tell she's not so happy here. Could be because he's pressing his face into hers super hard? Ha!

Don't let that angelic face fool you!

He just looks so big with his hands in his pockets like this...

How is this my baby? Where did the time go???

The ones of the two of them together were few and far between! Basically Andrew just wanted to mess with her, poke her, bop her on the head, etc.

As you can see, she's real happy about it! Ha!

When they were both finally smiling and looking...Kerigan decided to put her hands in her mouth! Typical!

No words... just pure cuteness!

Love it! Ha!

By this time she was done. She wasn't giving any big genuine smiles, but I'm still happy with the pictures! I needed to update my frames on the walls, so now my sweet daughter is on the wall too!

And that wall just got a whole lot cuter, let me tell ya!

Happy four months baby girl... and guess who just rolled from her tummy to her back tonight? Yep! One day before her 4 month birthday! Way to go girlie!

Four month post coming Tuesday...

first snow!

2011-11-09T09:21:00.000-08:00

Look what we woke up to this morning!!!!

Andrew was beyond excited. When he woke up I told him I wanted to show him something and I opened our windows and I wish I had a picture of his face. He lit up and said "SNOW! Yeah!" Then he thought for a second and said "Santa made it snow!!!" It was so cute.

He waited patiently while I searched the entire house for his boots and snow pants with no luck. At least we have his hat! Ha! I had no choice but to run to Target and we were in a mad dash before it melted! Ha!

We got the sled down and just enjoyed ourselves so much!

Andrew was just thrilled.

I pulled him in the sled and when I turned he would fall off and just laugh and laugh.

You may be wondering what miss Kerigan was doing this whole time?

She was all bundled up and having fun watching us from the garage!

So...we've been getting into the Christmas spirit around here! (And now with the snow I can't help but get in the spirit! Ha!) I realize it's not even Thanksgiving yet, and I certainly don't plan on overlooking that holiday because, let's face it... we have much to be thankful for! I just decided that I didn't want to rush through Christmas like I did last year. I love everything about Christmas. The snow, the decorating, the shopping, wrapping, baking... every last bit of it. But I especially enjoy just sitting in my house and enjoying the glow of our Christmas lights while sipping hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies.

Last year we traveled three weekends between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I barely got the house decorated, cookies baked and presents wrapped in time! It seemed like just when I got it all done... Christmas was over in the blink of an eye. I think I was literally wrapping gifts at midnight Christmas Eve! I love nothing more than getting things done early, and filling the tree with presents so we can enjoy looking at them for more than a day! Besides, Craig's family Christmas is Thanksgiving weekend this year, so I had to get on the ball! (And all the gifts for that have been purchased and wrapped for weeks now!) I tell you, it's amazing what can get done when you're not working full time!

So... everything's done!

Here's the proof! Ha!

This is blurry but I had to experiment with my shelves this year since last year I didn't have them! I think I like the greenery and lights on top. I don't have them all filled up yet, but I put the Little People nativity set on one shelf. Andrew loves playing with it. The swing really adds to the decor, doesn't it? Ha!

The stockings are all hung by the chimney with care...

Andrew and I had fun decorating together. Last year I put all his special ornaments in a box (because he is accumulating a lot) and I set aside our smaller tree in the family room so he could decorate it himself and enjoy his ornaments.

It was a delight for me to watch him do this and go through his special box. He was excited about everything! Gasping, ripping open boxes to get the ornaments out and he couldn't hang them up fast enough. Now he will just crawl up on the bench by the tree and just sit in wonder, staring at it.

It is pretty darn sweet. I love that he appreciates such things... like his mama!

Apparently, the stores don't think it's too early either! Bass Pro Shops had Santa's arrival last weekend, and it was so much fun!

Santa rode in on a boat (you know, because his sleigh is getting ready for Christmas Eve!)

We sang Christmas carols, had hot chocolate and cookies, and Santa lit the Christmas tree!

Then he cut the ribbon to unveil his winter wonderland, and the kids got to sit on his lap and we got a free photo! Now that's what I call a real visit with Santa! It was way better than any mall could be. The scenery was beautiful and they even had reindeer (see behind Kerigan?) The kids were all just mystified.

And better yet? They even let me take as many pictures as I wanted, and let me stand wherever I wanted! This just had me all warm inside. Trust me. Quite the opposite of another Santa visit we encountered a couple years ago!

And I'm saving the best picture for the Christmas card. Because yes, Kerigan actually smiled. And I mean a huge, "I love Santa" smile. It was pretty awesome. I'm also getting my cards ordered this week. Am I on the ball this year or what? Seriously. Going back to work has me all motivated to get things crossed off my list!

They had this awesome train, which we could not get Andrew away from!

This was behind the train- isn't it beautiful? And Andrew's face in the bottom corner watching the train just tops it off, doesn't it? (I didn't plan that one!)

Daddy and Andrew did some shooting...

And Andrew was fascinated with the fish (meanwhile, Craig lifts some other random kid up on the rocks because she was trying to climb up by herself! Ha!) I'm not sure why he thought that was a good idea. Luckily she didn't fall off and her parents didn't seem to mind. Ha!

On the way out, we saw Rudolph!

And of course, I had to do a photo shoot of my sweet little girl all decked out for Christmas! And again, I'm saving the best one for the Christmas card. But seriously? Could she get any cuter?

Just a couple more random pictures I've taken this week that I want to publish... I love this adorable outfit from Lilly. I love dressing her up for church!

One afternoon I ran out to get Andrew on the bus and she was not waiting one more second for her bottle, so I propped it up, thinking surely it would fall and she'd be screaming when I came back inside. But this is what she looked like... sucking for dear life! Ha!

And seriously? How is he almost five and still fits in this thing?

So... the time has come. Back to work. Seriously, this moment seemed like forever back in July when Kerigan was born. It seemed like the day would never come. I can still remember when school started. How happy I was to get to be home while I thought about everyone else going back to school. I have enjoyed every single minute of the last 16 weeks. Sleeping in, snuggling in bed with my kids, late breakfasts, staying in our pj's all day, watching movies, baking treats, shopping trips, decorating the house... I could go on and on. We have a perfect little routine going. And it's about to change. Drastically.

I am not worried about the kids not being taken care of. Because they will be. They will be loved and snuggled and played with all day. Just not by their mommy. And that is what kills me. I want to be the one wiping noses and cleaning up messes. I want to be the one making lunch and feeding my daughter her bottle and going on field trips with Andrew. That's the way it should be. And I don't think there is going to be anything else harder to deal with than tomorrow morning when the alarm rings at 5:30. I can't even remember the last time I got up that early. And now I'll be doing it every day.

Andrew is going to be a zombie after having double preschool (mornings at day care, afternoons at his IEP preschool). He conveniently misses his "rest time" in transit to his other school on the bus. I have a feeling his rest time will take place on the bus the first couple weeks! He's used to sleeping in until 8:00! And Kerigan? I'm just hoping and praying my sweet baby girl doesn't think her mommy deserted her.

I have a feeling this is going to be a rough transition. Can we turn back time, please?

Sigh.

But hey, at least the Christmas decorations are up and we got to play in the first snow of the season!

And just some proof I'm not skipping Thanksgiving. I took this with my phone last night at the store because I thought it was so cute! A little craft we'll be doing soon...