This post is dedicated to my fourth grade students...

I knew going back to work full time this year was going to be hard.  I hadn't been an official teacher since the fall semester of 2006.  Andrew was born in January of 2007, and I pretty much never went back to school after that.  I loved teaching.  I loved children.  But the truth was that now I had a child of my own, and nothing in the world compares to the love you have for your child.  He was all that mattered.

So Andrew's first year of life, I was his teacher.  And he was mine.  We learned and grew together, during some of the best days of my life.  I'll never forget that year for as long as I live.  My special chance to get to be a stay at home mommy, which I'd always wanted.  Had it not been for Andrew's health concerns, I would never have been able to do it.  So, in an indirect way, his little heart gave us the chance to be together and form a bond which is just indescribable.

Last year I was blessed to have found a perfect part time teaching job.  I had to switch schools, and grade levels, in order to make it work.  But it was so worth it.  I was able to share a 4th grade classroom with another teacher who had been there for 10 years.  I wasn't sure how it was going to work out, but it did.  And working part time is the best thing in the world.  That balance that I craved, to be able to be a good mommy and a good teacher, was so easy when I could do both.

But I knew it wouldn't last forever.  I was easing my way back into it because financially speaking, we just couldn't swing it.  I clung to my days off with Andrew so tightly.  I knew they were soon going to be a distant memory.  And I was so sad to see them end.  But the truth was, Andrew was ready.  Ready to go to school.  To play with other kids.  Socialize.  Learn things that I couldn't teach him anymore.  And I had to accept that.

But still, I knew going back to work full time this year was going to be one of the toughest things I've had to do.  But can I just tell you that my class this year makes it so much less difficult?  I was able to take over the full time 4th grade position, as my teaching partner retired.  It was perfect timing.  Meant to be.  And I fully believe that every child in my classroom this year was placed there for a reason.

They are awesome.  In ten years of teaching I have never had such a special class.  Everything about going back to work full time is hard.  I have a long drive to school (30 minutes one way- in good weather!  Add another 30 on the road conditions we've been having this winter!)  I only get to see Andrew for about 10 minutes in the mornings as we are rushing around, trying to get ready and get out the door.  No more cuddling in mommy's bed in the mornings when daddy leaves for work.  Oh how I miss that.  After school all I want to do is get Andrew home from day care as soon as possible, and go home.  Forget going to the grocery store, or Target, or all those other typical errands we have to do.  On the weekends I don't want to go anywhere or do anything either, because I want to make up for all the time I missed seeing Andrew during the week.

But in all those rushed minutes as I am stressed out, trying to get to work on time, desperately trying to find that balance I desire...all I can think of is, thank goodness I have a good class!

They really make it all worth it.  They make it easy for me.  Oh how God has blessed me.  How He places people and things in your life just at the right moments.  How He creates the perfect time for things.  I know I was brought to this school for a reason, at just the right time.

My students love Andrew.  Which is a good thing, since I love to talk about him!  They are so funny.  Right when we are about to start a really difficult math lesson, or something else they don't think they want to do, someone will blurt out "Talk about Andrew!"  They know that will distract me!  Ha!  They crack me up.  They love this blog, which I show them from time to time, in the last few minutes of the day on Fridays sometimes.  They love to see pictures and hear stories about Andrew.  They love "Andrew videos," as they call them.  You may recall this post, when I brought Andrew to school in the fall.  None of them have forgotten about it, and they talk about it all the time!

This past Friday was such a fun day at school.  The Valentine party!  This is a typically chaotic day for a teacher.  The kids are usually crazy, excited, and not in the mood to learn a thing!  The staff does "secret cupid" instead of Secret Santa.  We draw names and throughout the week leave little gifts for our person, then on Friday we have the big reveal with a "bigger" gift.  It was so fun!  The day started out with my secret cupid revealing herself with an awesome treat bucket of all my favorite things!

Let me tell you, this made my whole day!  I was so excited!  We had turned in a sheet earlier for our secret cupid so they knew some things we liked.  My secret cupid waited until Friday to give me all the things from my list (literally!)  I said I liked movies, snickers, milk duds, gummy hearts, root beer and white zinfandel (for an "out of school" drink, which was one of the favorites we had to list!  Ha!)  I got it all, complete with a box of popcorn and a gift certificate to Blockbuster to rent my favorite movie!  I am telling you, this was an amazing way to start the day!  I think I had a permanent smile plastered on my face the whole day!  Ha!

I have always had to plan my own parties as a teacher.  But at this school, the parents do it.  It is so awesome.  A couple of moms came in on Thursday after school and decked the classroom out in Valentines!  Then on Friday I had 5 parents show up with fun games, more decorations, treats, everything you can imagine to have the most fun Valentine party a kid could ask for.  My students were beyond excited.  They kept saying "this is the best party ever!"

These sweet little girls are Paige and Natalie.  Their moms came to the classroom after school the day before to put up neat decorations for the party.  Paige's mom is our homeroom mom and did a lot of the planning and organizing for the party.  In addition to all the neat things she brought for the class, she brought in this adorable stuffed monkey and balloon for Andrew!  I couldn't believe it.  They said it was for Andrew from the class.  I was so touched- it just made me tear up!  I promised the kids I'd take video of Andrew's reaction and blog about it!

 

He absolutely loved it!

I had gone home first to set it up on the table for him so he'd see it right away.  I told him he had a surprise at home and he was so excited.

  

They knew Andrew loves monkeys!  Ha!  He even gave out Valentines with wild animals (monkeys included!) to his friends at school.

They made this little boy very happy!

 

  

The balloon was even a monkey!  It was so cute!

I promised the kids I'd do an "Andrew video" of his reaction, too, so I got it on film for them! :)  Here ya go 4th graders!!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

So, while this has been one of the toughest years for me, trying to learn how to balance being a good mommy, wife, and working full time, I am so blessed to be able to say that I love my job so much.  I know I was a born teacher.  It's in my blood.  I have always had a passion for it, and for children.  I love making a difference in a child's life.  I truly believe teaching is the most rewarding profession there is.  I am so thankful God called me to be a teacher.  And that he also made me a mommy to one very special little boy.

My cup runneth over...

Happy Heart Day!

Happy Heart Day to my little man!

Andrew, every year on Valentine's Day I like to list all the things I love about you!  There are more than I can even begin to list, but here are just some of the many things I love about you, my little monkey...

•  I love the way you make my heart melt every time you say "I love you mama!"
•  Your big hugs when you squeeze me tight
•  I love our bedtime routine...giving you a bath, reading you Bible stories, and saying our prayers.  Then you want to kiss mommy and daddy several times.  You go back and forth and say "Mama kiss... Daddy kiss..." and I just love it.  Then the last thing we do is blow kisses before I leave your room, and I love that too.  You are so loving and still the cuddliest kid I know!
•  I love that you want to be chased around the house.  How you put your hands up by your head, fingers spread wide, and and go "oh!" like you are teasing me, ready to run!
•  I love that you love to wrestle and tackle us!  When we tickle you, you giggle so much and want us to do it again and again!
•  I love what a happy little boy you are
•  I love the way you fold your little hands before bed and say "Dear Jesus" with a huge smile on your face.  Then the way you list off all the people in your life that you love, all by yourself.
•  I love that you are 3 years old and can still wear 18 month size clothes!  You have always been such a "Peanut" and it is one of your many nicknames.
•  I love the way you mimick every word we say
•  I love how much you have learned to love school, your teachers and that you have made little friends that give you hugs when you leave.
•  I love that even after I've hugged and kissed you goodbye when I leave, that you still want to open the garage door and watch me drive away, and how you yell "I LOVE YOU MAMA!" as I'm leaving.
•  I love how much you love your daddy.  I'll never forget the day we got home and he had to rush out and didn't tell you goodbye, so I had to drive you to his school to see him because you were so upset.
•  I love how when you really want something you say "Hold my hand" and drag us where you want us to go!
•  I love how you dance when you hear songs on TV or the radio, and you love it when I join you and we dance together.
•  I love that you can watch a movie over and over again and never get sick of it.  Your favorite movies recently are Toy Story, Tarzan and Shrek.
•  I love your determination, and how passionate you are about things.  You have always been a fighter, and it is the reason you are still with us today.  You have a very special spirit within you, and your personality just shines.

Andrew, there are so many things I love about you, I could go on and on.  You will always be my special Valentine, and every year we will celebrate Valentine's Day for you and your very special heart.  I love your daddy very much, too!  I am so blessed to have you both in my life!

Making a Difference

I have been silent this week so far.  Not for any other reason but that I am overwhelmed.  I don't mean overwhelmed in the sense that I have too many things to do (which I do, but what else is new?!)  But overwhelmed with wanting to make a difference.  Congenital heart disease has become a part of our family.  We didn't ask for it.  But we deal with it on a day to day basis, because it is the hand we've been dealt.  We have learned to be thankful for the positive changes it has brought to our family, and our relationships.  It has given us a purpose.  Something we believe in so strongly that we want to do all we can to fight in honor of our son, and so many others.

So February is a big month for us.  It is heart month.  CHD Awareness week is Feb 7-14.  It's official in Iowa.  Governor Culver signed a proclamation declaring it so.  Some of you may remember Andrew meeting Gov. Culver at the Heart Ball a year ago.  Andrew was honored as a "Heart Hero."

Andrew has been honored in so many ways, and we are so grateful that our family has been able to make an impact, even if in a small way.

 

We have walked in every Heartwalk, and diligently worked to raise money for the American Heart Association.  Andrew was honored as the Heartwalk Ambassador in 2008.

  

Every year our team grows more and more, and so do the funds we raise.

I have totaled up the amount of dollars our team, Act for Andrew, has raised over the past 3 years...we have raised just under $7,000!  Isn't that amazing??  It is because of the generosity of so many of you, who have been touched by Andrew's story, or someone you love has been affected by heart disease.

Our family has been asked to speak at events to raise money for the AHA, like the Executive Leadership Breakfast last year.

We love getting involved.  We love spreading awareness for CHD's, the #1 birth defect.

Did you know....

• Congenital heart defects are America’s and every country’s #1 birth defect. Nearly one of every 100 babies is born with a CHD.

• Congenital heart defects are the #1 cause of birth defect related deaths.
• Congenital heart defects are the leading cause of all infant deaths in the United States.
• Each year approximately 40,000 babies are born in the United States with a congenital heart defect. Thousands of them will not reach their first birthday and thousands more die before they reach adulthood.
• Each year over 1,000,000 babies are born worldwide with a congenital heart defect. 100,000 of them will not live to see their first birthday and thousands more die before they reach adulthood.

• Almost half all children and adults with complex congenital heart disease have neurological and developmental disabilities.
• There are an estimated 2,000,000 CHD survivors in the United States.
• For the first time, more than 50% of the CHD survivors are adults.
• 10% of all CHD cases evaluated in an Adult CHD clinic are first diagnosed in adulthood.

• 91,000 life years are lost each year in this country due to congenital heart defects.
• The cost for inpatient surgery to repair congenital heart defects exceeds $2.2 billion a year.
• More than 50% of all children born with congenital heart defect will require at least one invasive surgery in their lifetime.
• There are more than 40 different types of congenital heart defects. Little is known about the cause of most of them. There is no known prevention or cure for any of them.
• In the United States, twice as many children die from congenital heart defects each year than from all forms of childhood cancer combined, yet funding for pediatric cancer research is five times higher than funding for CHD.

So why does it still feel like I'm not doing enough?  Maybe it is because there is still no cure, babies are still being born with CHD's, and too many are lost to CHD's each year.  How can we ever say we are doing enough until a cure is found?

The truth is, I want to do so much.  I want to help in a BIG way.  That is why I am overwhelmed.  I am just one person.  We are just one family.  How can we possibly make a difference?

That reminded me of the Starfish Story...

Once a man was walking along a beach. The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. Off in the distance he could see a person going back and forth between the surf's edge and and the beach. Back and forth this person went. As the man approached he could see that there were hundreds of starfish stranded on the sand as the result of the natural action of the tide.
The man was stuck by the the apparent futility of the task. There were far too many starfish. Many of them were sure to perish. As he approached the person continued the task of picking up starfish one by one and throwing them into the surf.
As he came up to the person he said, "You must be crazy. There are thousands of miles of beach covered with starfish. You can't possibly make a difference." The person looked at the man. He then stooped down and pick up one more starfish and threw it back into the ocean. He turned back to the man and said, 

"It made a difference to that one!"

So, when I'm feeling overwhelmed to make a difference, I need to remember that everything we do makes a difference.  In a few short months, Andrew is going to be turned over to the surgeons for the third time in his life.  I like to think that in the three years since he's been born, that the $7,000 we've raised has made a difference in the progress of education and research of CHD's, and that his next surgery's success will be a direct result of those efforts.  I like to think that the people we've spoken with, talks we've given, people who have been touched by Andrew's story have helped spread awareness so that there is just one more person out there who didn't know about CHD's before, but they do now.

I like to think we've made a difference.  

And it is all because of one very special little boy.

 

Who makes a pretty big difference all on his own.

Please visit my friend Stef's blog to see the article she wrote about Andrew and posted on her blog today in honor of CHD week.

Come and Play!

 

I have to admit, I got really into this theme for Andrew's birthday this year!  I wasn't sure I'd like it, but I knew he would. :)  Turns out, I had just as much fun coming up with ideas than ever before!  I love to go all out for Andrew's birthday parties.  Maybe it is because I think his birthday is such a big deal because of everything he's been through.  Or maybe it is just because I love to celebrate things, and I love parties!  Andrew's birthday is my favorite day of the year, and I love making it a special day all about him.  

  

This was his invitation.  I just made it on our computer.  I liked the picture of Andrew from this summer on his bike in his Elmo shirt.  It went with the "Come and Play" wording!  Plus, it looks like he's coming down Sesame Street!

  

If you didn't watch this video of him singing Happy Birthday, scroll down a post.  This was the cutest thing ever.  When he woke up in the morning and saw all his decorations, he plopped down at this bench and just sat there and took it all in.  He loved seeing everything, and he was so excited.

  

Getting the balloons was a highlight.  We went with his 4 favorite characters- Big Bird, Elmo, Oscar and Cookie Monster.  Big mylar ones.   He went crazy when we walked in the house with them.  He grabbed them and started running around and around!  I was nervous he was going to pop them before the party even began!  Ha!

  

I set up our dining room table with lots of his Sesame Street toys he already had.

  

This was the kids table set up in the kitchen.  This is his Elmo trick or treat pail, books and toys we already owned.  I just added the sponge letters for fun.

This was his Halloween costume peeking over the chair.

 

Our mantle set up with the treat sacks and his poster I made.  Every year I hang a poster on the fireplace mantle.

  

I really did have a lot of fun with these sacks!  I just bought plain color sacks and colored foam (a huge pack of 4X6 size in all colors from Walmart for $5).  Then I made the little name tags on my computer, using the Sesame Street logo.

This was my favorite table. :)  Dessert!  We got a giant chocolate chip cookie decorated with Elmo's face, and I also made yummy cookie cupcakes.  They have a cookie inside!  I posted the recipe a while back, but maybe I'll have to do it again for those who missed it!  I just printed out faces of the 4 characters and cut them in circles and taped them to a colored toothpick.  We also had an Oscar pail filled with gummy worms ("Slimey," Oscar's pet worm).  We had goldfish crackers for Elmo's fish, Dorothy.

 

But the party just wouldn't have been complete without a real Dorothy! 

  

After all, "Elmo loves his goldfish...his crayon too!" 

 

 

Aren't these little juice boxes adorable?  One day I was walking down an aisle at Walmart, not even looking for them.  I was so excited!  I bought them for the treat sacks and for the kids to drink at the party.

  

I had this garbage can saved from my first couple years of teaching.  It was a folder all about recycling.  I have no idea why I saved it.  The top part was the top of the folder that slid up and down, so I just glued Oscar's face in between and cut it out.  I love how it turned out!

  

Another poster I made for decoration.

  

And of course, we had to have this movie playing on TV!

  

I found these shirts at Walmart for Craig and I.  He was thrilled (Not!)   The important part was, Andrew loved them! :)

For dinner we served Elmo's favorite: Pizza!  We ordered from a favorite place and cut them into squares.  We also had crock pot lasagna and seven layer salad, bread, veggies and dip.   It was very kid friendly too.  After dinner we opened presents.  Andrew's favorite part!

 

He got lots of nice things.  He used to like to play with each gift before opening the next, and it would take him forever to open!  But now he just tears right in and goes from one to the next!

  

This was my favorite part of the night.  Andrew learned how to blow out candles somehow and he loves doing it!  He just sat there and stared at his big cookie (cookies are his favorite). 

My absolute favorite picture ever.  Look at that smile!

 

And his eyes here crack me up.  He was just concentrating so hard! Lol!

  

The kids all had fun playing.  These are Andrew's cousins Jack, Evelyn, Brooke and his friend Lilly.  I love how he and Lilly are holding hands.  Cousin Jayden didn't quite want to be in the picture, but his head is there!  Ha!

He made it in this one!  Ha!

 

Apparently our stairs are a human slide.  Every time kids come over, this is the main attraction!  I think we need more forms of entertainment!

  

Here is Craig with his niece, Evelyn and nephew, Jayden.  They were looking at "Dorothy."

  

Evie, Andrew and Lilly

It was a goal of mine to take pictures of everyone at the party this year.  It seems like I always look back and wish I had taken more pictures, or pictures of everyone there (I know, imagine me not having enough pictures!  Ha!)  But I did really good this time! 

 

Andrew and Ga Ga

 

Andrew with Papa and Grandpa

  

Auntie Karen and Grandma (Andrew wouldn't be in this picture!  He had had it with pictures!)

  

Andrew with his Godparents, Uncle Keith and Auntie Darlene, Jack and Brooke

  

Uncle Jason, Auntie Rachel, Evie and Jayden

 

Our good friends and neighbors, Kevin, Alissa and Lilly

Time just goes so fast.  I always want to freeze time and make his parties last forever.  I enjoy having people over and I love doing all the work involved.  In fact, I never think of it as work.  I spend months in advance preparing for his parties, and thinking of ideas.  It is just a hobby I guess.  I know someday he'll probably tell me what he wants and doesn't want, but for now, I'm enjoying it! :)

I can't believe my baby is three.  We've already noticed some habits to start breaking (like him wanting us to lay with him every night until he falls asleep!) and also some naughty behavior at school!  Some exciting changes are coming up for him with his school, which I will blog about soon.  He is just getting to be such a big boy, and we are loving him more and more every day, if that is even possible.

It was so cute the other day when I began to take down some of his decorations.  He was watching me.  I took down some blocks I had set up for decoration on the armoire, and he kept handing them back to me, for me to put them back!  Then on the mantle I had his stuffed Oscar there during the party but had taken him down, too.  A few days later, I watched him drag his little chair over by the fireplace, stand up on it with Oscar in hand, trying to reach up and put him back!  It was so adorable.  I couldn't help but notice the fact that he knew where all those things were placed during his party.  He actually noticed the little touches and things I did to decorate.  It made me happy.  And proud.  He is his mama's kid!  Ha!  So for a while anyway, a few things are left out from the party.  And Oscar has a special place on our mantle!

Happy 3rd Birthday to my special, special boy.