Three

I have been trying to think in advance about what I wanted this post to be about.  How would I describe the emotions and feelings we had three years ago as I've done so many times inadequately before.  It is just impossible to put into words.

This was our son, three years ago today.  August 17, 2007 marked the day that doctors took 12 hours to repair his little broken heart.  Nothing can prepare you for this sight.  Shocking doesn't even come close.

One word to describe my feelings on this day would have been fear.  Fear of letting him go to the OR and not coming back.  Fear that his little personality would change or he'd never be the same again.  Fear of the unknown, of what tomorrow may bring.

Well, we have lived three years of tomorrows since that miraculous day.  And I can tell you that we never took one single day for granted.  At that time in our lives we learned that every day is a gift and one we don't take lightly.  Spending precious moments with our son is the most important thing to us now and always will be.  His little life changed our perspective, and we are forever grateful.  One word I have to describe my feelings today when I look at that picture?

Proud.

Proud of Andrew for everything he's endured and for the way he fights through every hurdle he has had to endure.  I'm so proud of him.  His spunk, his zest for life.  I'm proud of our family for the way we've chosen to handle this life changing journey called congenital heart defects.  It is not an easy road.  But we've ridden it together, supporting each other and sticking together through it all, loving each other more now than ever.

 Three years have gone by without open heart surgery.  I honestly didn't think I'd be able to say that.  Whew.  They haven't gone by without plenty of caths and procedures, stents and narrow pulmonary arteries, doctor's appointments and EKG's... but that little scar on his chest is certainly fading.  A symbol of the blessings that have been bestowed upon us.

We know that scar will soon be bright and bold again one day, but until that day comes we will embrace the time we have together and live with the hope that only God can provide.

So as I thought about what I wanted this post to be about, I couldn't help but think of a more appropriate topic.  What we are doing at this same time, exactly three years later...

We're getting his school supplies ready for preschool.  Yes, preschool.  What an amazing feeling.  I actually cried when I opened up the welcome letter from his teacher with his school supply list attached.  My baby's first school supply list!  I just couldn't help it.  Proud again.  Proud that we've made it this far.  "You've come a long way, baby!" seems so cliche, but I'd say quite appropriate in this case.

Back on this day three years ago I might not have believed Andrew would ever be going to preschool.  You just don't think ahead to those things too much, because you just never know.  You don't let your mind get too far into the future.  So once again I am at a loss for words as I've been shopping for back to school clothes and supplies and having fun labeling things and getting everything ready for his first day.  It's how I always envisioned my life as a mommy would be.  And I'm so grateful I get the chance to do it.

Last night was Andrew's meet the teacher night at his preschool and he met Miss Erin, his new teacher.

 He took my hand and pulled me into the classroom.  He went straight for the centers, like he had been there before!  This year he is at our neighborhood school, which is so nice.

He was so proud walking into the school.  Not afraid at all, in fact quite the opposite.  He is very excited to go to school.

After chatting with his teacher for a few minutes, it was at about this point that he looked up at us and said "Mommy and Daddy, go away!"  It was too funny.  (Well, everyone in the room thought so...I think except for me!)  He was already ready for us to leave him.  My baby is all grown up.

So in a few short days we'll be sending him off to school.  With a new backpack, a faded scar and three years of cherished memories... Here's to a lifetime more!

 My cup runneth over...