A Little Monkey Business: Little Miss {one year}

My Beautiful Baby Girl,

Kerigan, it is your very first birthday today. I am not even sure how to begin this first of many letters to you, because honestly I am flooded with so many emotions. I know you are still too little now, but someday I want you to know exactly how I felt on this day. Grateful doesn’t even come close. Blessed is more like it. You are a gift straight from God. And I never want you to forget that my sweet girl.

Your birthday, July 12, 2011- you were just a few hours old

You were the perfect addition to our little family at the perfect time. Neither you nor your brother came easy to your daddy and I, and I so desperately wanted another baby. And most of all, I wanted a little girl. More than anything in the whole world. Often times I prayed for God to give me a healthy baby, but secretly sometimes, just between God and me, I asked for a little girl too. I know He knew my heart. Your Ga Ga and I have a very close relationship and have always had so much fun doing “mother-daughter” things together. I longed for that same relationship with a daughter. And I can only pray that I am half the mother to you that she is to me. She is an amazing example to you, Kerigan, and you are her namesake.

3 Generations

Sometimes I just look at you and I can’t believe what I’ve been given. You are the most beautiful little girl in the entire world. Your sweet little smile fills me with a joy I never knew existed. Your giggle is contagious and your amazing blue eyes are a constant reminder to me of your Grandpa Bill. You bring so much happiness into my life, my sweet daughter. I will always treasure every little thing about you, from your gorgeous little curls, to your chubby little toes. You are my gift from above, my answer to prayer. And I could never put into words how much I love you. I can only pray that through the special years we will spend together, that you will feel my love and you will always know how much I wanted you, and how special you are. Something like this is called a miracle. And that is just what you are.

This was the first time I held you... Sheer joy

It seems like just yesterday that daddy and I went in to the hospital to deliver you. I'll never forget how I felt that day. How excited I was to finally meet the little girl I had dreamed about my whole life. How can it be a year already? I am certain that the years are going to fly by, and soon you’ll be running off with your friends, painting your nails and talking endlessly on the phone. I am clinging to your baby years with all my might, but I know they are short lived. I will have to let you grow up, but it is my prayer that you will always share life with me, and that together we will make the sweetest memories…the ones I’ve always dreamed of. And I hope you will always know where you can come to find love and acceptance.

Minutes after you were born...

From day one you stole my heart. I will never forget the sight of the doctor holding you up for me to see you. All your beautiful dark hair. You were perfect. You were everything I had ever dreamed about…and more, baby girl. So much more. It has been so much fun watching you grow this year. Each month your little personality grew and today you are a spunky, feisty, funny and loving little dolly.

Your two front teeth show now when you squint your face up and smile, and it just melts my heart every time. You are starting to get brave and take a few steps on your own. But it seems like you always want to do it when no one is paying attention to you! You are stubborn (you come by this naturally!) When I try to get you to walk you kick your legs and won’t let me put you down. But then you’ll sneak off and do it. All by yourself. You have a determination that will take you far. And you are so smart! You repeat almost anything we say now. You have learned several words, your newest ones are Minnie, duck (you say it when you see pictures!), thank you, more, baby, bye bye, uh-oh, pretty and "cheese!" You also say "nigh nigh" (night night) and bah bah (bottle). You wave bye bye and you love to dance!

Your first big vacation- Disneyland, June 2012

You definitely let us know when you are mad. You will clench your fists and growl at us! You are so silly. You never stay mad for long. And you are always happy as long as you are in my arms. You are a mama's girl and I love that… even when I’m busy around the kitchen trying to get things cleaned up or put laundry away, I love that you cling to my leg and follow me around. Your daddy and brother rate pretty high up there too. Your face lights up at the sight of both of them. Every single time. We all love to make you giggle and smile, and you love to entertain us. You babble and talk to us all the time. You were a perfect fit for our family, and only God could have known just what we needed!

The first day your brother saw you...

he was in love from the very first moment, just like the rest of us!

My heart could just explode with gratefulness that I was given the little girl I always dreamed of. I picked this special verse out for you because I hope that you will learn what this means to me someday, as YOU are the one who taught me:

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4